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Travelling is one of the most popular recreational activities we have. Some people like travel alone while others like to travel with a group of people. What would you prefer, travelling alone or travelling with some people? v.1

Travelling is one of the most popular recreational activities we have. Some people like travel alone while others like to travel with a group of people. What would you prefer, travelling alone or travelling with some people? v. 1
There has been an increase in recreational activities after hard working days. Among entertainment activities, most people love to take a tour in their vacation. There are two options that you can go alone or go with other people. In my opinion, travelling with friends seems to be a good idea. In the first place, what should be the priority is assistance in travel because you do not know what can happen during the trip, such as an accident or an incident. For example, you may fall down from a cliff, your friends can call for help and save your life. Besides, if you go alone, terrible events happen and you may not handle by yourself. Conclusion, travelling with other people is necessary for your safety. Secondly, going with a group, you can learn new experiences from friends travelling with, which you have never known before. For instance, you can discover that your friend who often stays at the library plays the guitar so wonderfully and you really want to be a guitarist like him. It is helpful for us to understand more about each other and sometimes to learn good skills from our friends. Thirdly, it will be fun when sharing unforgettable memories together. It can be the first time you climb the highest mountain, that you have ever heard of or the most beautiful scene that you have never seen before. At these moments, you will wish there were someone beside you to share your pride and happiness. That will be joyful if there are friends around to cheer you up. To sum up, travelling with a group of people is the best choice, not only for safety reasons but also for great feelings of sharing.
There has been an increase in recreational activities after
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
hard working
days. Among entertainment activities, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to take a tour in their vacation. There are two options that you can go alone or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
seems to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

In the
first
place, what should be the priority is assistance in travel
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you do not know what can happen during the trip, such as an accident or an incident.
For example
, you may fall down from a cliff, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
can call for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
and save your life.
Besides
, if you go alone, terrible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
happen and you may not handle by yourself. Conclusion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
with other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
necessary for your safety.

Secondly
, going with a group, you can learn new experiences from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
with, which you have never known
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
For instance
, you can discover that your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
stays at the library plays the guitar
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
wonderfully
and you
really
want to be a guitarist like him. It is helpful for us to understand more about each other and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
to learn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
from our friends.

Thirdly
, it will be fun when sharing unforgettable memories together. It can be the
first
time you climb the highest mountain, that you have ever heard of or the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
scene that you have never
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. At these moments, you will wish there were someone beside you to share your pride and happiness. That will be joyful if there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
around to cheer you up.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
with a group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
is the best choice, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for safety reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
for great feelings of sharing.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Travelling is one of the most popular recreational activities we have. Some people like travel alone while others like to travel with a group of people. What would you prefer, travelling alone or travelling with some people? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
288 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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