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Some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others believe it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others believe it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school. v. 1
In our modern sophisticated society, ability to speak foreign languages is highly valued more and more. However, while some believe that learning a foreign language should be introduced in elementary schools, I strongly believe that pupils should be taught a foreign tongue in secondary schools. On the one hand, it can be argued that younger children before puberty are often very eager to learn new things without being afraid of making mistakes. As a result, pupils tend to be more generous for peers' mistakes comparing to adolescents who often face peer pressures when it comes to making errors in classes. Moreover, adovocates of the early education of learning languages claim that the earlier school children start to learn a foreign tongue, the more fluent speakers they are most likely to become. Since learning language is such a long process, it is always best to launch as soon as possible according to them. On the other hand, although some people think that young children learn languages better than secondary school students and should be taught as soon as possible, I side with people who feel that teaching a foreign language should be inplemented in secondary education. Firstly, in my opinion, students from elementary schools should concentrate on learning a basic education, such as literacy and numeracy skills, which they will need as a essential lifetime knoledge, while foreign languages are only for people who travel or work abroad. Secondary, another concern to teach foreign languages for elementary students is a confusion between their own mother tongue and the foreign language. Due to the lack of vocabulary in their native language, it will be affect negatively when they learn words in foreign languages. Finally, my strongest argue is that pupils from elementary schools are usually fully committed to basical education. Since they have already a busy academic timetable, they will have no time for extra subjects to learn. In short, although primary school students are more flexible and faster to learn new things, they are most likely to be engaged with fully fixed academic schedules already. Therefore, on balance, I wholeheartedly believe that foreign languages should be taught in secondary schools.
In our modern sophisticated society, ability to speak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
is
highly
valued more and more.
However
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
should
be introduced
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, I
strongly
believe that pupils should
be taught
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
tongue in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
schools.

On the one hand, it can
be argued
that younger children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
puberty are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
eager to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new things without being afraid of making mistakes.
As a result
, pupils tend to be more generous for peers' mistakes comparing to adolescents who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
face peer pressures when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to making errors in classes.
Moreover
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
adovocates
of the early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
claim that the earlier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
tongue, the more fluent speakers they are most likely to become. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
is such a long process, it is always best to launch as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible according to them.

On the other hand
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that young children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and should
be taught
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible, I side with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who feel that teaching a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
should be
Possible spelling mistake found.
inplemented
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
Firstly
, in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
a basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, such as literacy and numeracy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which they will need as
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
essential lifetime
Possible spelling mistake found.
knoledge
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who travel or work abroad.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Secondary
, another concern to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is a confusion between their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mother tongue and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
. Due to the lack of vocabulary in their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, it will be affect
negatively
when they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
words in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
.
Finally
, my strongest argue is that pupils from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elementary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are
usually
fully
committed to
Possible spelling mistake found.
basical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. Since they have already a busy academic timetable, they will have no time for extra subjects to learn.

In short, although primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are more flexible and faster to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
new things, they are most likely to
be engaged
with
fully
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
academic schedules already.
Therefore
, on balance, I
wholeheartedly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
languages
should
be taught
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that all children should learn a foreign language from the time they start school, while others believe it is better to wait until a child is at secondary school. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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