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It is sometime said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both the individual and for society. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

It is sometime said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both the individual and for society. v. 1
There are numerous fundamental decisions in life, and for that there is always a right way to take them. At times, it is believed that marriage should be done before the age of 30, however, I completely rejects this notion and believe that there are much more significant factors to be considered than age, thus the following essay shall discuss the same and draw a plausible conclusion. Primarily, compatibility is the crucial factor that would be considered, while selecting a partner, as two people could only make a better relationship, if their mind level matches with each other. In addition to this marriage is not about a point of time at which a person gets married, but, it is about a state of mind, at which an individual is mentally agree to accept social, financial and many other responsibilities. For instance, if a couple make a right match, then their life become heaven, due to having more understanding and less conflict between them. Furthermore, it will also create a positive impact on society, as happy soul mates can creates a better family and healthier environment. In contrast, some people believe that, marriage should be done before the age of 30. As after that, people start aging as their health condition deteriorates and they are not young enough to work hard and support their family financially and otherwise, as much as they can in their early age. For example, it takes decades to raise a child and make him an independent person, hence young parent could support far better than an old one. Although there are certain benefits to it, but if two incompatible persons, who does not have any understanding among them, just got married because they do not run out of certain age can result in broken relationship and its repercussion will be inevitable, that will also adversely affect the society in general as unhappy and depressed people cannot form a stable society. In conclusion, marriage is the most important decision of the life that cannot be taken light heartedly, but carefully. There are many benefits of taking a right decision by considering the important factors, such as: competency in a person, whether a person is responsible and so on. I strongly believe that marriage is about making a soul mate and age is certainly not a major concern so far the decision is taken in a right way, As it far important to take better decision than quicker one.
There are numerous fundamental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decisions
in life, and for that there is always a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
way to take them. At times, it
is believed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
should
be done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30,
however
, I completely
The pronoun 'I' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "reject"
rejects
this notion and believe that there are much more significant factors to
be considered
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
,
thus
the following essay shall discuss the same and draw a plausible conclusion.

Primarily
, compatibility is the crucial factor that would
be considered
, while selecting a partner, as two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
relationship, if their mind level matches with each other.
In addition
to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is not about a point of time at which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
married,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, it is about a state of mind, at which an individual is mentally
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
to accept social, financial and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other responsibilities.
For instance
, if a couple
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
match, then their life become heaven, due to having more understanding and less conflict between them.
Furthermore
, it will
also
create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on society, as happy soul mates can creates a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
family and healthier environment.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
should
be done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
of 30. As after that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
aging as their health condition
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
deteriorates and
they are not young
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and support their family
financially
and
otherwise
, as much as they can in their early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
.
For example
, it takes decades to raise a child and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
him an independent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
,
hence
young parent could support far
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
one. Although there are certain benefits to it,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if two incompatible
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
persons
, who does not have any understanding among them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
married
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they do not run out of certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
can result in broken relationship and its repercussion will be inevitable, that will
also
adversely
affect the society
in general
as unhappy and depressed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot form a stable society.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
of the life that cannot
be taken
light
Possible spelling mistake found.
heartedly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
carefully
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
by considering the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors, such as: competency in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
, whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is responsible and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
is about making a soul mate and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
is
certainly
not a major concern
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
far the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
is taken
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
right
way, As
It seems that a verb is missing.
it
far
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
decision
than quicker one.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay It is sometime said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is best for both the individual and for society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
411 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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