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Some people believe that after hundred years life will be easier for most of people, while the others are unsure. What is your opinion? v.2

Some people believe that after hundred years life will be easier for most of people, while the others are unsure. What is your opinion? v. 2
Museums are the vital source 0f information when it comes to history. Even though it is a kind of resource for both students and the society, these often found in difficulty to exhibit to the common people. In my opinion, I think this problem can be tackled by getting donations and charging entry fees. This essay will discuss how can these challenges can be resolved. One possible solution is charging fees from visitors. This means those who want to visit any museum, they should pay a fixed amount of entry fees. Having collected charges from museum goers, the amount can be channelized for the maintenance and proper functioning of these institutes; gradually, the excess amount can be used for providing access for the general public to these places. Additionally, this offers not only a financial assistance to the government, but the public would be able to satisfy their curiosity. Most of the visitors would show, eventually, respect towards the exhibits, instead of taking it as granted Another obvious method to tackle the issues is that requesting donations from the rich. There are many people, who are interested in developing their county's heritage and cultural system; therefore, they would ready to contribute financially to ensure the public access to museums. At the same time, it is the government responsibility to utilise the assistance in an effective manner, rather than wasting it. Similarly, privatization of museums would be another possibility. For instance, in some part of India, museums are privatized as the state lacks funds to maintain it. This has been practising sever parts of the world and most of them are successful. By way of conclusion, by taking appropriate actions, the common people in the society get an opportunity to experience the museums. It is vital that these structures be visited by members of the society to get a better understanding of their historical background.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Museums
are the vital source 0f information when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to history.
Even though
it is a kind of resource for both students and the society, these
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
found in difficulty to exhibit to the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this problem can
be tackled
by getting donations and charging entry fees. This essay will discuss how can these challenges can
be resolved
.

One possible solution is charging fees from visitors. This means those who want to visit any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
, they should pay a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
amount of entry fees. Having collected charges from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museum
goers, the amount can
be channelized
for the maintenance and proper functioning of these institutes;
gradually
, the excess amount can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for providing access for the
Consider using "public".
general public
to these places.
Additionally
, this offers not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a financial assistance to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the public would be able to satisfy their curiosity. Most of the visitors would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
,
eventually
, respect towards the exhibits,
instead
of taking it as
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
granted


Another obvious method to tackle the issues is that requesting donations from the rich. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who
are interested
in developing their county's heritage and cultural system;
therefore
, they would ready to contribute
financially
to ensure the public access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. At the same time, it is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
responsibility to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
the assistance
Consider replacing "in an effective manner" with the adverb for "effective"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in an effective manner
,
rather
than wasting it.
Similarly
, privatization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
would be
another possibility
.
For instance
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of India,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
are privatized
as the state lacks funds to maintain it. This has been
Possible spelling mistake. 'practising' is British English.
practising
sever parts of the world and most of them are successful.

By way of conclusion, by taking appropriate actions, the common
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an opportunity to experience the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
museums
. It is vital that these structures
be visited
by members of the society to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better understanding of their historical background.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people believe that after hundred years life will be easier for most of people, while the others are unsure. What is your opinion? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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