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Some people believe that after hundred years life will be easier for most of people, while the others are unsure. What is your opinion? v.1

Some people believe that after hundred years life will be easier for most of people, while the others are unsure. What is your opinion? v. 1
The significant development of technology is increasingly being witnessed in the world these days. Some people perceive that the majority of people will have an easier life which attributable to the advancements in technology while others don’t agree. This essay will discuss the reason why I personally believe that life will be better in the future. There are various compelling reasons why technology can impact our life positively and the prominent reason is that technology plays a crucial role in our society as all aspects of our daily life have been affected by the technological advances. To illustrate, advanced technologies such as high-speed train, smart phone and WIFI have made meaningful contributions to us as it enables us to enjoy an easier and efficient life compared to ancient people. For this reason, people believe that life tend to be much better due to the further development of technology. However, some oppose this notion and says that life will be much harder for those who doesn’t have decent qualifications or relevant skills as they will struggle to find jobs and maintain their basic life due to a variety of labor-related occupations will eventually be replaced by machines. For instance, supermarkets in Japan have announced that self-checkout machine will be introduced to all the stores by the end of this year in the country which could lead to a rise of unemployment rate. As can be seen, it also could be detrimental to some people’s future. To sum up, people’s opinion towards our future is various. Some people say that life will be more simple due to technological innovations while others believe that this trend could make life even harder for some individuals. Taking everything into consideration, I’m inclined to say that the prospects of our future is bright even though there are some challenges associated with this trend.
The significant development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is
increasingly
being witnessed
in the world these days.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
perceive that the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will have an easier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which attributable to the advancements in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
while others don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. This essay will discuss the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be better in the future.

There are various compelling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
can impact our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
positively
and the prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
plays a crucial role in our society as all aspects of our daily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by the technological advances. To illustrate, advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
such as high-speed train, smart phone and
Did you mean "Wi-Fi"? (This is the officially approved term by the Wi-Fi Alliance.)
WIFI
have made meaningful contributions to us as it enables us to enjoy an easier and efficient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
compared to ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. For this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
tend to be much better due to the
further
development of technology.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
oppose this notion and says that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be much harder for those who doesn’t have decent qualifications or relevant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
as they will struggle to find jobs and maintain their basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
due to a variety of labor-related occupations will
eventually
be replaced
by machines.
For instance
, supermarkets in Japan have announced that self-checkout machine will
be introduced
to all the stores by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this year in the country which could lead to a rise of unemployment rate. As can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
, it
also
could be detrimental to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
future.

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
opinion towards our future is various.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
will be more simple due to technological innovations while others believe that this trend could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
even harder for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals. Taking everything into consideration, I’m inclined to say that the prospects of our future is bright
even though
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
challenges associated with this trend.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay Some people believe that after hundred years life will be easier for most of people, while the others are unsure. What is your opinion? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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