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Some people believe that advertising has a strong effect on a person’s decision-making process. Others feel that it has little or no real impact. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe that advertising has a strong effect on a person’s decision-making process. Others feel that it has little or no real impact. v. 1
It is true that advertising is x well-known method for promotion to increase the sales. x, While some believe that there is no effect of advertising on decision making skills, I agree with those who feel that it has a huge impact on making decisions. On the one hand, they think that there are x few reasons that don’t make any influence of advertising on decision making. Firstly the main reason is unreliable adverts with x small asterisk mark on the bottom. For example in India many companies advertise some kind of offers on TV commercials in order to attract customers but when customers visit the store they see a completely different picture. Secondly advocates of these types believes in a newly establish business advertisement also don’t make any impact on humans mind because they are new to the market as customers gets apprehensive to buy from them. On the other hand, I strongly believe that advertisements have x great impact on x decision making process because when a company endorse a celebrity for his product advertisement which will have a strong effect on a person decision making. Recent research has found that a famous celebs who promoted or acted in x particular ad had a great sales for that product. Furthermore in my view these days giving reviews by people on any product advertisement making a huge influence on human mind whether to buy a product or not. To illustrate many e-commerce companies like amazon, flipkart have reviews on products so people before making a purchase they will read the feedbacks and decide on that product. To conclude, although sometimes advertisements are not trustworthy. Therefore on balance personally, I hold the opinion that usage of famous people on adverts makes a huge impact on decision making process.
It is true that advertising is x well-known method for promotion to increase the sales.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
x
, While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that there is no effect of advertising on
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who feel that it has a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on making decisions.

On the one hand, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that there are x few reasons that don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any influence of advertising on
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
.
Firstly
the main reason is unreliable adverts with x
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
asterisk mark on the bottom.
For example
in India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
advertise
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of offers on TV commercials in order to attract customers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
when customers visit the store they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a completely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
picture.
Secondly
advocates of these types believes in a
newly
establish business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
also
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on humans mind
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are new to the market as customers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
apprehensive to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
from them.

On the other hand
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
have x great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on x
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
Possible agreement error - use third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "endorses".
endorse
a celebrity for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
which will have a strong effect on a person
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
. Recent research has found that a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "celeb"?
celebs
who promoted or acted in x particular ad had a great sales for that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Furthermore
in my view these days giving reviews by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
making a huge influence on human mind whether to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
or not. To illustrate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
e-commerce
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
amazon
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
flipkart
have reviews on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
making a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
they will read the feedbacks and decide on that product.

To conclude
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are not trustworthy.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
on balance
personally
, I hold the opinion that usage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
on adverts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a huge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impact
on
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
decision making
process.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that advertising has a strong effect on a person’s decision-making process. Others feel that it has little or no real impact. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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