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1. B. Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response. v.1

1. B. Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response. v. 1
Marrying couples often aspire to throw lavish wedding receptions with which to celebrate [For Celebrating] their union. However, often these parties carry with them a burden that newlyweds cannot comfortably bear. It is agreed that excessive spending on marriage celebrations can cause issues for new husbands and wives. This will be shown by analyzing how excessive matrimonial ceremonies can encumber newlyweds financially and cause unhealthy competition to show off social and financial status. Firstly, many marrying couples often put themselves into troubles when they spend beyond their capacity on their marriage reception. For example, some friends of mine borrowed an exorbitant amount of money to pay for a very large wedding they held several years ago. Spending in such a prodigal way, force these young couples to dedicate every last cent of their earnings after marriage to pay off their debt. As this money could have been put towards building a better life for them, it is clear that problems can arise for people who spend extreme amounts on their weddings. In addition, lavish marriage ceremonies also give rise to the unhealthy competition of showing off social and financial status in society. For instance, in India, there are some marriage ceremonies where popular media celebrities are paid a huge amount to participate just to show off their extravagance, which in turn influence other wealthy members of the society to do the same to maintain their status. Even newly-wed couples reveal their competitive nature by making their ceremony more eye-catchy and lavish than that of other couples. Consequently, prospective couples feel pressure to maintain this unavoidable competitive trend in society. In conclusion, it has been proven that large and expensive wedding parties can incite issues for marrying couples. Although many marriage arrangements are culturally sensitive, it is expected that modern couples weigh the pros and cons of throwing a lavish ceremony before deciding to do so.
Marrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
aspire to throw
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lavish
wedding receptions with which to celebrate [For Celebrating] their union.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
these parties carry with them a burden that newlyweds cannot
comfortably
bear. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agreed
that excessive spending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
celebrations can cause issues for new husbands and wives. This will
be shown
by analyzing how excessive matrimonial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
can encumber newlyweds
financially
and cause unhealthy competition to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
social and financial status.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
marrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
put themselves into troubles when they spend beyond their capacity on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
reception.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
friends of mine borrowed an exorbitant amount of money to pay for a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
large wedding they held several years ago. Spending in such a prodigal way, force these young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
to dedicate every last cent of their earnings after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
to pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
their debt. As this money could have
been put
towards building a better life for them, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that problems can arise for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who spend extreme amounts on their weddings.

In addition
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
also
give rise to the unhealthy competition of showing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
social and financial status in society.
For instance
, in India, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremonies
where popular media celebrities
are paid
a huge amount to participate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
off
their extravagance, which in turn influence other wealthy members of the society to do the same to maintain their status. Even
newly
-wed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
reveal their competitive nature by making their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
more eye-catchy and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lavish
than that of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
.
Consequently
, prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
feel pressure to maintain this unavoidable competitive trend in society.

In conclusion
, it has
been proven
that large and expensive wedding parties can incite issues for marrying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
arrangements are
culturally
sensitive, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expected
that modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
couples
weigh the pros and cons of throwing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lavish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ceremony
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
deciding to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay 1. B. Nowadays, people are spending increasingly large amounts of money on their marriage parties. Many people feel large and expensive weddings cause problems for the bride and groom. Do you agree? Use personal examples in your response. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
315 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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