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Some people believe that advertising brings positive effects. Others argue that this has more negative effects. What extent do you agree? v.2

Some people believe that advertising brings positive effects. Others argue that this has more negative effects. What extent do you agree? v. 2
Several individuals consider that advertising renders more fruitful influences, nevertheless, others assume that it bestows more negative impacts. In accordance with this statement, this essay will explain the points of view of this issue and also put forward my perspective in the following paragraphs. To begin with, I do appreciate to people who believed that the existence of advertising will provide more drawbacks for all persons. However, I tend to oppose this argument and support the other perspective which argued that it is going to confer numerous useful influences to all individuals and I personally believe that it will give people multifarious information which perhaps, people need. Regarding the assumption above, the presence of the advertisement, first and foremost, used to show the enhancement of several advanced technology which is able to assist people. Second but not less crucial, it usually published several useful announcement such as the information about scholarship and job vacancy. On the other hand, it, additionally, is able to entertain people by showing a humorous content on their advertisement, this kind of advertising typically happened in Indonesia. Nonetheless, as the existence of it is capable of rendering countless advantages, all persons still need to monitor and maintain for purchasing something from the advertisement due to the fact that advertising usually attracts people to buy every product which they released even purchasing unimportant items. By way of conclusion, it seems to me that the presence of advertising is capable of providing upsides to all individuals. Nevertheless, we still have to control and make it not to influence us to buy unnecessary products.
Several individuals consider that advertising renders more fruitful influences,
nevertheless
, others assume that it bestows more
negative
impacts. In accordance with this statement, this essay will
explain
the points of view of this issue and
also
put forward my perspective in the following paragraphs.

To
begin
with, I do appreciate to
people
who believed that the existence of advertising will provide more drawbacks for all persons.
However
, I tend to oppose this argument and support the other perspective which argued that it is going to confer numerous useful influences to all individuals and I
personally
believe that it will give
people
multifarious information which perhaps,
people
need.

Regarding the assumption above, the presence of the advertisement,
first
and foremost,
used
to
show
the enhancement of several advanced technology which is able to assist
people
. Second
but
not less crucial, it
usually
published several useful announcement such as the information about scholarship and job vacancy.
On the other hand
, it,
additionally
, is able to entertain
people
by showing a humorous content on their advertisement, this kind of advertising
typically
happened in Indonesia. Nonetheless, as the existence of it is capable of rendering countless advantages, all persons
still
need to monitor and maintain for purchasing something from the advertisement due to the fact that advertising
usually
attracts
people
to
buy
every product which they released even purchasing unimportant items.

By way of conclusion, it seems to me that the presence of advertising is capable of providing upsides to all individuals.
Nevertheless
, we
still
have to
control and
make
it not to influence us to
buy
unnecessary products.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that advertising brings positive effects. Others argue that this has more negative effects. What extent do you agree? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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