Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Individual greed and selfishness has been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To wh v.2

Individual greed and selfishness has been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To wh v. 2
Nowadays, the basis of temporary community is the greed and selfishness of the persons. In accordance with it, several individuals assume that all people have to bring back the conservative values of respects for the family and local society in order to create an improved world to reside in. Regarding this statement, this essay will explain the points of view of the issue and also put forward my perspective in the following paragraphs. To begin with, I do believe and support the assumption which considered that we have to return all positive traditional values in order to produce an excellent impact. Moreover, the people' s selfishness and greed have influenced the environment of the earth due to the fact that they used to do countless activities which confer negative consequences to the earth' s environment, and I tend to think that altering these two attitudes are needed to be done in order to generate better effects. In regard to the argument above, it is going to render numerous fruitful influence to all aspects. It, first and foremost, going to bestow a positive impact in which individuals will not do any selfish things which are going to benefit themselves solely. Second but not less crucial, it is apparent that it will decrease the number of tribulations between states or people due to the fact that it, usually, is caused by the selfishness and the greed of persons. Last but not least, the world will have a peaceful circumstance and a friendly environment. By way of conclusion, it seems to me that changing the human behaviour which related to the greed and selfishness is absolutely pivotal to be done. Thus, we have to control and maintain our behaviour in order to create an improved impact for the world.
Nowadays, the basis of temporary community is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selfishness
of the persons. In accordance with it, several individuals assume that all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
bring back the conservative values of respects for the family and local society in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to create an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
world to reside in. Regarding this statement, this essay will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the points of view of the issue and
also
put forward my perspective in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, I do believe and support the assumption which considered that we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
return all
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
traditional values in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to produce an excellent impact.
Moreover
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selfishness
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greed
have influenced the environment of the earth due to the fact that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to do countless activities which confer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
The usual preposition to use after "consequences" is not "to". Did you mean "consequences of", "consequences for", or "consequences on"?
consequences to
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
earth&
#039; s environment, and I tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that altering these two attitudes
are needed
to
be done
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to generate better effects.

In regard to the argument above, it is going to render numerous fruitful influence to all aspects. It,
first
and foremost, going to bestow a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact in which individuals will not do any selfish things which are going to benefit themselves
solely
. Second
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not less crucial, it is apparent that it will decrease the number of tribulations between states or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
due to the fact that it,
usually
,
is caused
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selfishness
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greed
of persons. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the world will have a peaceful circumstance and a friendly environment.

By way of conclusion, it seems to me that changing the human
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
which related to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
greed
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
selfishness
is
absolutely
pivotal to
be done
.
Thus
, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
control and maintain our
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
order
to create an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
impact for the world.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
12Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Individual greed and selfishness has been the basis of the modern society. Some people think that we must return to the older and more traditional values of respect for the family and the local community in order to create a better world to live in. To wh v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
296 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts