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Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. Discuss both views and give your opinion v.2

Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. 2
It is generally believed that inborn characteristics are the reasons leading to criminal problems. However, I would argue that a [1] crime is an undeniable consequence of social issues and poverty. There is a belief that a criminal is the result of a person's nature. Firstly, a person who is cruel easily commits a crime. In particular, a small child bullying other boys or girls at school is more likely to commit murder or have take violent actions in years to come. Secondly, bad characteristics including laziness and selfishness could also build up breed [2] future offenders. It cannot be denied that a number of youngsters, instead of working to earn a living, choose to steal from other people. It seems that people who are born with an inborn negative nature are likely to be accused of [3] crimes. Nevertheless, it seems to me that social issues and poverty are primary reasons behind a [1] crime. First and foremost, problems in society could lead to an increasing number of crimes. For example, unemployment pushes an array of people to work illegally to earn their livings. As a consequence, the number of offenders has climbed in recent years. Furthermore, the situation of poverty is also claimed to be one of the main reasons leading to unlawful problems [4] criminal acts. It is undeniable that if their standard of living cannot allow people to meet basic needs, they would will do pursue [5] illegal activities to make money so that they could support their family. Consequently, criminal issues would become increasingly serious. In conclusion, while a number of people think that a person's nature is the primary cause of crimes, I would argue that they are the results of social issues and poverty.
It is
generally
believed that inborn characteristics are the reasons leading to
criminal
problems.
However
, I would argue that a [1]
crime
is an undeniable consequence of social
issues
and poverty.

There is a belief that a
criminal
is the result of a person's nature.
Firstly
, a person who is cruel
easily
commits a
crime
.
In particular
, a
small
child bullying other boys or girls at school is more likely to commit murder or have
take
violent actions in years to
come
.
Secondly
,
bad
characteristics including laziness and selfishness could
also
build up breed [2] future offenders. It cannot
be denied
that a
number
of youngsters,
instead
of working to earn a living, choose to steal from other
people
. It seems that
people
who
are born
with an inborn
negative
nature are likely to
be accused
of [3] crimes.

Nevertheless
, it seems to me that social
issues
and poverty are primary reasons behind a [1]
crime
.
First
and foremost, problems in society could lead to an increasing
number
of
crimes
.
For example
, unemployment pushes an array of
people
to work
illegally
to earn their livings. As a consequence, the
number
of offenders has climbed in recent years.
Furthermore
, the situation of poverty is
also
claimed to be one of the main reasons leading to unlawful problems [4]
criminal
acts. It is undeniable that if their standard of living cannot
allow
people
to
meet
basic needs, they
would will
do pursue [5] illegal activities to
make
money
so
that they could support their family.
Consequently
,
criminal
issues
would become
increasingly
serious.

In conclusion
, while a
number
of
people
think
that a person's nature is the primary cause of
crimes
, I would argue that they are the results of social
issues
and poverty.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe that a crime is a result of social problems and poverty, others think that crime is a result of bad person’s nature. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
291 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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