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SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT CRIME IS A RESULT OF SOCIAL PROBLEMS AND POVERTY, OTHERS THINK THAT CRIME IS A RESULT OF BAD PERSON’S NATURE. DISCUSS BOTH VIEWS AND GIVE YOUR OWN OPINION. v.1

SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT CRIME IS A RESULT OF SOCIAL PROBLEMS AND POVERTY, OTHERS THINK THAT CRIME IS A RESULT OF BAD PERSON’S NATURE. v. 1
The world is facing an emerging issue of increase in crime these days. A group of people in of the opinion that society deprived of basic necessities is the cause. However, others believe that personality and state of mind is responsible for these incidents. In this essay, I would be discussing both views in detail. In many countries, society is divided into an upper and a lower class. Most of the people falling in lower class are unable to fulfill their basic needs. This means people find other ways to meet their requirements. The most tempting and easiest way it to get oneself indulge in different crimes. For example, an unemployed person gets inclined towards robbery to support one’s family. In addition, lack of education also plays a vital role in the growth of crime. The means illiterate people find it difficult to understand the consequences and can easily be trapped in performing these incidents. For instance, a teenager not going to school can easily be manipulated in supporting crime in exchange of money. On the other hand, a person’s mental stability is also the cause of increase in crime. A mind full of negative thoughts has a high chance of committing crime such as a person who enjoys mass murdering of innocent people. Rehabilitation centers are established in different countries to address this issue. For example, a center located in Islamabad is treating person suffering from mental illness committing different crimes. To conclude, there is an increase in crime which needs to be addressed immediately. People suffering from mental disorder and social problems are the causes of it. In my opinion, I agree to some extent that increase in crime is directly related to the increase in poverty.
The world is facing an emerging issue of
increase
in
crime
these days. A group of
people
in of the opinion that society deprived of
basic necessities
is the cause.
However
, others believe that personality and state of mind is responsible for these incidents. In this essay, I would be discussing both views in detail.

In
many
countries, society
is divided
into an upper and a lower
class
. Most of the
people
falling in lower
class
are unable to fulfill their basic needs. This means
people
find other ways to
meet
their requirements. The most tempting and easiest way it to
get
oneself indulge in
different
crimes
.
For example
, an unemployed
person
gets
inclined towards robbery to support one’s family.
In addition
, lack of education
also
plays a vital role in the growth of
crime
. The means illiterate
people
find it difficult to understand the consequences and can
easily
be trapped
in performing these incidents.
For instance
, a
teenager
not going to school can
easily
be manipulated
in supporting
crime
in exchange of
money.

On the other hand
, a
person’s
mental stability is
also
the cause of
increase
in
crime
. A mind full of
negative
thoughts has a high chance of committing
crime
such as a
person
who enjoys mass murdering of innocent
people
. Rehabilitation centers
are established
in
different
countries to address this issue.
For example
, a center located in Islamabad is treating
person
suffering from mental illness committing
different
crimes.

To conclude
, there is an
increase
in
crime
which needs to
be addressed
immediately.
People
suffering from mental disorder and social problems are the causes of it. In my opinion, I
agree
to
some
extent that
increase
in
crime
is
directly
related to the
increase
in poverty.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay SOME PEOPLE BELIEVE THAT CRIME IS A RESULT OF SOCIAL PROBLEMS AND POVERTY, OTHERS THINK THAT CRIME IS A RESULT OF BAD PERSON’S NATURE. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
289 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria