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Some people believe online reading should only be used for a child to read whereas others believe only printed material should be used Discuss both views and give your opinion v.1

Some people believe online reading should only be used for a child to read whereas others believe only printed material should be used 1
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has been placed on that some people have different views about how to make the road safer. In my view, both the punishments and other range of means can be applied into the practices to alleviate the negative driving habits. On the other hand, stringent punishments can accurately help to encourage individuals to drive more carefully, especially in terms of the dangerous users as well as the penalties are necessary for them. In addition, there are various types of penalties such as small fines, license suspension or even prison sentences. The aim of these prices is to show how harmful that those crazy controllers put other people the edge of danger. As a result, the discipline of these actions makes owners can aware of their behaviours during the journeys in favour of following the follow the rules are extremely crucial. On the other hand, I believe that adverse driving not only can be promoted in many methods, but also can be easily regulated and restrain the number of accidents. To be more specific, the education is the main core of these issues, which has an important role play in the moral of users that related to command of transportation. The school should combine to the government to be extended more driving test in the curriculum of the programme, which not only advances their awareness of the harmful driving but also train their professional driving skills. Secondly, the authorities should concentrate on the design of the protected roads to limit the potentially bad situations can happen. Furthermore, local councils could invest in the public transportation and foster people use it, which mean people tend to use less their own transports. In conclusion, while punishments can aid to prevent unfavourable driving, I believe that other approaches should also be introduced.
In this day and age, more and more contemporary attention has
been placed
on that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the road safer. In my view, both the punishments and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
range of means can
be applied
into the practices to alleviate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
habits.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, stringent punishments can
accurately
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to encourage individuals to drive more
carefully
,
especially
in terms of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
users
as well
as the penalties are necessary for them.
In addition
, there are various types of penalties such as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
fines, license suspension or even prison sentences. The aim of these prices is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
how harmful that those crazy controllers put
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
the edge of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.
As a result
, the discipline of these actions
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
owners can aware of their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
during the journeys in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of following the follow the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
are
extremely
crucial.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I believe that adverse
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
can
be promoted
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
can be
easily
regulated and restrain the number of accidents. To be more specific, the education is the main core of these issues, which has an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
role play
in the moral of users that related to command of transportation. The school should combine to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
be extended
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
in the curriculum of the
Possible spelling mistake. 'programme' is British English.
programme
, which not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
advances their awareness of the harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
train their professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Secondly
, the authorities should concentrate on the design of the protected roads to limit the
potentially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
situations can happen.
Furthermore
, local councils could invest in the public transportation and foster
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
it, which mean
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
transports.

In conclusion
, while punishments can aid to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
approaches should
also
be introduced
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe online reading should only be used for a child to read whereas others believe only printed material should be used 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
308 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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