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Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed materials should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.3

Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed materials should be used. v. 3
Nowadays, plenty of materials available for education. People can read the online or on paper. This essay will discuss both points of views and give relevant examples. On the one hand, online reading materials are wide spread all over the world because at the present time most countries have access to the Internet. Moreover pupils able to get more information from different sources for free and without limits. For example, such resources as Wikipedia, YouTube and Facebook contain a vast amount of necessary information and educational materials. Simultaneously people can read the articles and find out answers to many questions. In the last decades, cost of books increased radically. Editions try to improve the quality of paper, so they start to cut down more trees. This situation has a bad influence to our environment. Therefore people should try to decline printed materials and use online versions. On the other hand, sitting in front of computer for a long time has a negative effect to people’s health. It causes such problems as eye-disease, back pain and headache. While paper reading does not have such sideline activity. In modern books publishing houses use only tested fronts. In addition, familiar methods of learning are more effective. For instance, official web-site of Oxford university published a research, where they interviewed students about preferable methods of education. Results showed that 89% of student understand materials from paper better than online. In conclusion, while the advantages of technology, particularly online reading, allows to students to tap into limitless sources of information, some still prefer to learn with printed materials. In my opinion, the best way for education is combine studying online and using textbooks.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
available for education.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can read the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
or on paper. This essay will discuss both points of views and give relevant examples.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are wide spread all over the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at the present time most countries have access to the Internet.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
pupils able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more information from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sources for free and without limits.
For example
, such resources as Wikipedia, YouTube and Facebook contain a vast amount of necessary information and educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
.
Simultaneously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can read the articles and find out answers to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
questions. In the last decades, cost of books increased
radically
. Editions try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of paper,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down more trees. This situation has a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
influence to our environment.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should try to decline printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
versions.

On the other hand
, sitting in front of computer for a long time has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health. It causes such problems as eye-disease, back pain and headache.
“While” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
While
paper reading does not have such sideline activity. In modern books publishing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
fronts.
In addition
, familiar methods of learning are more effective.
For instance
, official web-site of Oxford university published a research, where they interviewed students about preferable methods of education. Results
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 89% of student understand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
from paper better than online.

In conclusion
, while the advantages of technology,
particularly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
reading,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
to students to tap into limitless sources of information,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
still
prefer to learn with printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
. In my opinion, the best way for education is combine studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and using textbooks.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language comes first. It’s not that language grows out of consciousness, if you haven’t got language, you can’t be conscious.
Alan Moore

IELTS essay Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed materials should be used. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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