Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement? v.9

Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 9
# Essay Currently, numerous countries spend money as an invest for art, for instance music and theatre. On the contrary that some individuals reject this point of view, namely, they think that instead of this action government must spend money in public services. I, personally, disagree with this opinion and in this essay I prove my disagreement with some details. Firstly, art is developing for several millenniums. It plays a vital role in individual's lives. And also it is spiritual nourishment for human being. Definitely, it has different appearance, such as performance, pictures, movies, musics as well as clips, concerts and so on. They reflect our spiritual world, worldview as well as our minds, insomuch they can be as a treatment for our pain, problem and so on. So that, people appreciate art and try to improve this as well as their investment in the art, such as the government also attendance for this. From another angle, art can be the source of happiness, cheerfulness as well as pleasure. All of birthday, wedding parties and also different holidays, festivals could not be hilarious and joyful without music. Also, people can enjoy by concerts. It gives huge encouragement for individual's spirit as well as it gives platonic feelings. As well as, people can relax by watching movies. Most people very enjoy by watching film. And individuals can learn something from watching films, such as language or other country's culture as well as customs, traditions and so on. And some of them encourages by painting or drawing different kind of illust. Generally, according to over mentioned point of views government must spend money as an invest in the art and it is not waste of money. However, it does not mean that government must not spend money in public services instead of art. Government should spend money not only in this, but also it should spend money on both of them.
# Essay

Currently
, numerous countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'invest' is correct. If 'invest' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an invest
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
,
for instance
music and
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
.
On the contrary
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals reject this point of view,
namely
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
instead
of this action
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in public services. I,
personally
, disagree with this opinion and in this essay I prove my disagreement with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is developing for several millenniums. It plays a vital role in individual's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. And
also
it is spiritual nourishment for human being. Definitely, it has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
appearance, such as performance, pictures, movies, musics as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as clips, concerts and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. They reflect our spiritual world, worldview as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as our minds, insomuch they can be as a treatment for our pain, problem and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
appreciate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
this as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as their investment in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, such as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
also
attendance for this.

From another angle,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
can be the source of happiness, cheerfulness as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as pleasure.
Consider using "All birthday" or "All of the birthday".
All of birthday
, wedding parties and
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
holidays, festivals could not be hilarious and joyful without music.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can enjoy by concerts. It gives huge encouragement for individual's spirit as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as it gives
Possible incorrect capitalization. Some adjectives that are derived from proper nouns can have both an initial capital letter and an initial lower case letter. If there is a close association with the proper noun, use "Platonic".
platonic
feelings. As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can relax by watching movies. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
enjoy by watching film. And individuals can learn something from watching films, such as language or other country's culture as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
well
as customs, traditions and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. And
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them encourages by painting or drawing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of
Possible spelling mistake found.
illust
.

Generally
, according to over mentioned point of views
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
as
After 'an', do not use a verb. Make sure that the spelling of 'invest' is correct. If 'invest' is the first word in a compound adjective, use a hyphen between the two words. Note: This error message can occur if you use a verb as a noun, and the word is not a noun in standard English.
an invest
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
and it is not waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
However
, it does not mean that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in public services
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on both of them.
22Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Government investment in the arts, such as music and theatre, is a waste of money. Governments must invest this money in public services instead. v. 9

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts