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Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.10

Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 10
Nowadays, the use of online reading materials has increased its prevalence among the children due to the technology advancement. However, some people concern that only printed material should be used. Personally, I suggest that online reading withholds more advantages than disadvantages and hence it can be utilised. It is undeniable that the conventional printed materials contain several irreplaceable benefits. Firstly, it allows youngsters to concentrate on reading since internet often contains numerous applications such as games and videos. Teenagers are often lack of self-control and they may tend to divert themselves to other social media. In addition, some online videos contain some violence, pornography elements which are easy to lead the children astray. What’s more, the screen contains the radiation which is harmful to youngsters’ eyes. There is an evidence that the percentage of eyes illness teenagers are escalating at an alarming rate. Therefore, the printed materials can further protect their eyes. On the flipped side, we should recognise the benefits generated from reading online. Since the computer has much larger capacity to store hundred and thousands of materials, children can access various books simultaneously, whereas in conventional, children need to carry a trunk of books around. What’s more, this digital invention is the saviour to the modern society, especially in an era where the global resources are depriving at a speedy rate. It assists to save lots of resources from printed out of the papers. The downsides of online reading can be alleviated under the guidance of adults. As such the government should strictly introduce the age rating system online to prevent children accessing too much bad material and the adults should restrict children’s time length in accessing it to protect their eyes. In conclusion, digital reading materials bring more blessings than curses towards the society. It is a necessary invention of the 21st century to develop a more swift, efficient and sustainable society. Therefore, the online reading materials can be adopted gradually with the well-rounded precautions from government and families.
Nowadays, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
has increased its prevalence among the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
due to the technology advancement.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
concern that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
Personally
, I suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
withholds more advantages than disadvantages and
hence
it can be
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilised' is British English.
utilised
.

It is undeniable that the conventional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contain
several irreplaceable benefits.
Firstly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
youngsters to concentrate on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
since internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contains
numerous applications such as games and videos.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lack of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
self-control and
they may tend to divert themselves to other social media.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
videos
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
violence, pornography elements which are easy to lead the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
astray. What’s more, the screen
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
contains
the radiation which is harmful to youngsters’ eyes. There is an evidence that the percentage of eyes illness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
are escalating at an alarming rate.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
can
further
protect their eyes.

On the flipped side, we should
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognise' is British English.
recognise
the benefits generated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. Since the computer has much larger capacity to store hundred and thousands of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can access various books
simultaneously
, whereas in conventional,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
need to carry a trunk of books around. What’s more, this digital invention is the
Possible spelling mistake found.
saviour
to the modern society,
especially
in an era where the global resources are depriving at a speedy rate. It assists to save lots of resources from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
out of the papers. The downsides of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
can
be alleviated
under the guidance of adults. As such the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
strictly
introduce the age rating system
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
accessing too much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
and the adults should restrict
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
time length in accessing it to protect their eyes.

In conclusion
, digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
bring more blessings than curses towards the society. It is a necessary invention of the 21st century to develop a more swift, efficient and sustainable society.
Therefore
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
can
be adopted
gradually
with the well-rounded precautions from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and families.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe online reading materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 10

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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