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A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? v.15

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? v. 15
It is true that many economies in the world these days depend heavily on revenue generated from tourism. While there are certain negative consequences of this development/phenomenon, I would argue that these are outweighed by the advantages. On the one hand, heavy reliance on the tourism industry can cause some disturbing problems. The first downside is the likely destruction of popular destinations. In particular, ancient buildings, temples and monuments struggle to cope with a vast amount of visitors’ traffic and get damaged. Also, the large number of tourists can cause environmental problems. For instance, when places of interest are overcrowded, natural resources often become overexploited. What’s more, the fact that tourists usually bring a lot of cash and carry valuable items such as phones, cameras, expensive handbags increases the attraction for criminals and brings with it activities like robbery and drug dealing. On the other hand, despite such issues, many benefits can be derived from the growing development of the tourism industry. Firstly, it is clear that the tourism industry can significantly boost a nation’s economy in many aspects. This can be explained by tourists’ spending on a wide range of services, including hotels, amusements, transportation, food, and medical services. Secondly, the growth of tourism also increases the level of employment by bringing new jobs. For instance, the influx of tourists results in large demand in restaurant workers, tour guides, hotel staff and employees of retail services, exhorting business owners to hire more people for these positions. In conclusion, I believe that the advantages of tourism, especially in terms of increased GDP and employment rate, are greater than the drawbacks, namely destruction impact on many destinations and the environment as well as higher crime rate.
It is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
economies in the world these days depend
heavily
on revenue generated from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
. While there are certain
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences of this development/phenomenon, I would argue that these
are outweighed
by the advantages.

On the one hand, heavy reliance on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disturbing problems. The
first
downside is the likely destruction of popular destinations.
In particular
, ancient buildings, temples and monuments struggle to cope with a vast amount of visitors’ traffic and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
damaged.
Also
, the large number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
can cause environmental problems.
For instance
, when places of interest
are overcrowded
, natural resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
become
Possible spelling mistake found.
overexploited
. What’s more, the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
usually
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
cash and carry valuable items such as phones, cameras, expensive handbags increases the attraction for criminals and brings with it activities like robbery and drug dealing.

On the other hand
, despite such issues,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits can
be derived
from the growing development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry.
Firstly
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry can
significantly
boost a nation’s economy in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists’
spending on a wide range of services, including hotels, amusements, transportation, food, and medical services.
Secondly
, the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
also
increases the level of employment by bringing new jobs.
For instance
, the influx of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
results in large demand in restaurant workers, tour guides, hotel staff and employees of retail services, exhorting business owners to hire more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
for these positions.

In conclusion
, I believe that the advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
,
especially
in terms of increased GDP and employment rate, are greater than the drawbacks,
namely
destruction impact on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
destinations and the environment
as well
as higher crime rate.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Do you think that the benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks? v. 15

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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