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Some people believe online learning materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people believe online learning materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 1
Nowadays, education institutions can provide some options for society about the way we teach a child to read effectively. Two methods for this learning process are by harnessing the advancement of technology to create online learning materials or using a traditional approach, namely printed material. This essay will highlight the benefit and drawbacks of both methods. With regards to online learning, the crucial advantage of this modern way is it can visualize the learning content attractively. The reason for this is the technology in our gadget is possible to blend the learning process and animation that can entertain early age people. As a result, it will be much easier to increase their eagerness to learn, and finally, they can accelerate reading skills exponentially. Unlike with printed materials, learning content tends to be plain, and consequently, our child will get bored to learn even before starting it. As for printed materials, the most significant benefit of this paper-based method is that the materials are much cheaper than online learning. Everyone can learn to read in affordable materials without worrying about the gadget that they have to provide before. In contrast with online learning, people that can facilitate dedicated gadget for their child to learn to read is only for the wealthier ones. The side effect of this approach in the social perspective is that there is a huge reading skill gap between a particular rich group and unwealthy people. To sum up, although each approach has their advantage in attractiveness for online learning and lower price for printed materials, I tend to apply the online learning approach as long as educational institutions can mitigate the negativity of online learning impact to people.
Nowadays, education institutions can provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
options for society about the way we teach a child to read
effectively
. Two methods for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process are by harnessing the advancement of technology to create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
or using a traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
,
namely
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
. This essay will highlight the benefit and drawbacks of both methods.

Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
With regards to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
, the crucial advantage of this modern way is it can visualize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
content
attractively
.
The reason for this is
the technology in our gadget is possible to blend the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
process and animation that can entertain early age
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
As a result
, it will be much easier to increase their eagerness to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
, and
finally
, they can accelerate reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
exponentially
. Unlike with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
content tends to be plain, and
consequently
, our child will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
even
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
starting it.

As for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
, the most significant benefit of this paper-based method is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
are much cheaper than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
. Everyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to read in affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
without worrying about the gadget that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
In contrast
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that can facilitate dedicated gadget for their child to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to read is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for the wealthier ones. The side effect of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
The usual preposition for "perspective" is "from" not "in." "from the social perspective".
in the social perspective
is that there is a huge reading
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
gap between a particular rich group and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unwealthy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To sum up, although each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
has their advantage in attractiveness for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
and lower price for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
, I tend to apply the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
approach
as long as educational institutions can mitigate the negativity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learning
impact to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
37Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe online learning materials should only be used for a child to learn to read, whereas others believe only printed material should be used. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
281 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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