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Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v.5

Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v. 5
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument about being successful in school or college due to the various reasons. This essay will analyse the reasons with my personal perspective along with an apt example. To commence with the reasons, first and foremost is many kids do not take their academics seriously during their young age. Sometimes pupils go to school in order to kill their time, however when they are mature enough to be able to realise that somehow they have to survive in life, their personality transforms completely. Adding further a few more reasons many students achieve high scores in schools because they possess some other skills. Furthermore, students who are not interested in science, mathematics or literature and pupils who fail from those subjects can also be successful because they are inquisitive about art, music. Moreover, if we failed in the academic field, it does not mean that we will fail in our professional life. In fact, it is evident that failing school is not a sigh of intellectual weakness. For instance, Albert Einstein, J. K. Rowling, Thomas Edison and Abraham Lincoln all of them have failed in their academic life but still they are one of the people who had influenced us and made a lot of discoveries, fought against injustice laws in the society. Undoubtedly, our success depends on various factors such as; luck, temperament, dedication, patience, our passion even to our friend circle. But it does not determine by our academic growth. To recapitulate, the aforementioned reasons and factors plausible in favour of the main idea. From my point of view, considering success together with academic life is nonsense.
In the contemporary era, there is a heated argument about being successful in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
or college due to the various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. This essay will
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
with my personal perspective along with an apt example.

To commence with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
,
first
and foremost is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
kids do not take their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academics
seriously
during their young age.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
pupils go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in order to kill their time,
however
when they are mature
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to be able to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that somehow they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
survive in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, their personality transforms completely. Adding
further
a few more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students achieve high scores in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they possess
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.
Furthermore
, students who are not interested in science, mathematics or literature and pupils who fail from those subjects can
also
be successful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are inquisitive about art, music.
Moreover
, if we failed in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
field, it does not mean that we will fail in our professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. In fact, it is evident that failing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
is not a sigh of intellectual weakness.
For instance
, Albert Einstein, J. K. Rowling, Thomas Edison and Abraham Lincoln all of them have failed in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
they are one of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who had influenced us and made
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
discoveries, fought against injustice laws in the society.

Undoubtedly
, our success depends on various factors such as; luck, temperament, dedication, patience, our passion even to our friend circle.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it does not determine by our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
growth.

To recapitulate, the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and factors plausible in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of the main
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. From my point of view, considering success together with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is nonsense.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Some people fail in school, but end up being successful in life. Why do you think that is the case? What is the most important thing to succeed in life? v. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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