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Some people believe it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care for them. Others think that there are better ways to show affection to them. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people believe it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care for them. Others think that there are better ways to show affection to them. v. 1
Gifts are a vital form of showing love from the past few years. Therefore, some people say that it is important to give presents to mates and relatives to pageant them our love. Other people opine that there are several different forms to show the care. This essay will discuss both the views and provide the evidence that being there for them is more pivotal. To begin with, showing attachment by giving presents to each other is now on trend. Specially, people who are far away from each other. For instance, Now families which are move out their house and they are in the another city or country. According to this, they feel the best approach to show their affection towards each other. Sometime it is pivotal also when you are apart to maintain the good relations with each other and to stay interconnected. On the other side, there are several different ideas of showing warmth like taking care of them and be there when they need you most. For example, earlier they used to sit together and having dinner and discussing what happened all day, but now they barely sit and talk. This change has made older people alone as there is no one to talk with and to care for them when they are unwell. Hence, being there for them is the best way to spectacle love. To sum up, sending ornaments is vital, but it is not always a good option as physical presence is must than sending non living things.
Gifts are a vital form of showing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
from the past few years.
Therefore
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to give presents to mates and relatives to pageant them our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
opine that there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
forms to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
the care. This essay will discuss both the views and provide the evidence that being there for them is more pivotal.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, showing attachment by giving presents to each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
on trend.
Specially
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are far away from each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
families which are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
out their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
house and
they are in the another city or country. According to this, they feel the best approach to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their affection towards each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. Sometime it is pivotal
also
when you are apart to maintain the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relations with each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and to stay interconnected.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side, there are several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of showing warmth like taking care of them and be there when they need you most.

For example
, earlier they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to sit together and having dinner and discussing what happened all day,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they
barely
sit and talk. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
has made older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
alone as there is no one to talk with and to care for them when they are unwell.
Hence
, being there for them is the best way to spectacle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
.

To sum up, sending ornaments is vital,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not always a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
option as physical presence is
Use "muster" to make a comparison with this adjective.
must
than sending
It appears that a hyphen is missing.
non living
things.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
10Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes
Language shapes the way we think, and determines what we can think about.
Benjamin Lee Whorf

IELTS essay Some people believe it is important to give gifts and presents to friends and family to show that we care for them. Others think that there are better ways to show affection to them. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
254 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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