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Some people believe that using animals to test the safety of human medicines is cruel and unwarrented, whereas others feel it is a medical necessity. Discuss both views and state your own opinion. v.2

Some people believe that using animals to test the safety of human medicines is cruel and unwarrented, whereas others feel it is a medical necessity. v. 2
To understand the pathological safety and potency of medicines, experiments are often conducted on animals by scientists. These practices remain a source of constant debate in our society. A section of society thinks that using animals to examine the safety of a drug is brutal and cannot be justified, whereas others disagree and emphasize that these procedures are necessary for medicinal improvements. The primary reason why many people do not favor these experiments is rooted in the fact that a high proportion of animals lose their lives. While testing medicines, animals die or suffer many abnormalities due to the side-effects of the medicine. As they are also living beings, it is inhumane to risk their lives for experimenting the medicine safety. The Sunday Times has recently reported that more than 30 percent of the animals involved in experiments are dying annually all over the world. On the contrary, some people feel that there is no other way around to check the effects of the medicine. Many animals have biological similarities with humans, especially rats, and these experiments can provide conclusive evidence for its therapeutic actions. If a new drug is administered directly to humans, it could be fatal for them. Although these examinations cannot be justified, yet there is no other alternative to check drug safety. In conclusion, the testing of drugs on animals is barbaric, yet it is of the utmost importance for the survival of humans. Therefore, I believe that these medicinal trials are mandatory for the existence of human life.
To understand the pathological safety and potency of medicines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
conducted on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by scientists. These practices remain a source of constant debate in our society. A section of society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
to examine the safety of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
is brutal and cannot
be justified
, whereas others disagree and emphasize that these procedures are necessary for medicinal improvements.

The primary reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not favor these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
is rooted
in the fact that a high proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
lose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. While testing medicines,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
or suffer
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
abnormalities due to the
Did you mean "side effects" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effects
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
. As they are
also
living beings, it is inhumane to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
for experimenting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
safety. The Sunday Times
You should probably use "have", "haven".
has
recently reported that more than 30 percent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
are dying
annually
all over the world.

On the contrary
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
feel that there is no other way around to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the effects of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
medicine
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have biological similarities with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
,
especially
rats, and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experiments
can provide conclusive evidence for its therapeutic actions. If a new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
is administered
directly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, it could be fatal for them. Although these examinations cannot
be justified
,
yet
there is no other alternative to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drug
safety.

In conclusion
, the testing of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drugs
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is barbaric,
yet
it is of the utmost importance for the survival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Therefore
, I believe that these medicinal trials are mandatory for the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
life.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe that using animals to test the safety of human medicines is cruel and unwarrented, whereas others feel it is a medical necessity. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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