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Some people believe charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own countries. Others claim that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both opinions and tell which side do you agree? v.1

Some people believe charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own countries. Others claim that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. v. 1
Non profit organization plays vital role in helping needy people in the world. It's heated debate that charity should provide resources in their respective country only or they should help other countries also. This essay will discuss both the side and provide the evidence why a Non Profit management with enough resources must help others also. To embark on, organizations in countries which are developing or underdeveloped should only provide resources to people living there. To illustrate, in countries like Africa there has been already a shortage of resources and material so there charity should only help local people as they are the one who gives donation in the country. This way they can also know where their money is being used for. Therefore, NGO's in these countries must fulfil their demands otherwise it will provoke them against them. On the contrary, an organization which has enough resources more than their respective country need should help other countries and their people. For example, UNICEF an international charity which received from worldwide for the welfare of the children has a surplus of money and material and also their nation just need less than half of it, they should be giving some helping hand to undeveloped and developing places. Thus, big NGO's must help other small non profit companies. To recapitulate, wealthy nations well funded NGO's must help other nations too, but nations which are not developed their organization just help their people. It will ultimately create harmony and peace in the world.
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
Non profit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
plays vital role in helping needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world. It's heated debate that charity should provide resources in their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
only or
they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
also
. This essay will discuss both the side and provide the evidence why a Non Profit management with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
others
also
.

To embark on,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
which are developing or underdeveloped should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
provide resources to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living there. To illustrate, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like Africa there has been already a shortage of resources and material
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there charity should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they are the one who gives donation in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. This way they can
also
know where their money is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for.
Therefore
, NGO's in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
fulfil their demands
otherwise
it will provoke them against them.

On the contrary
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
resources more than their respective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
need should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, UNICEF an international charity which received from worldwide for the welfare of the children has a surplus of money and material and
also
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
need less than half of it, they should be giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
helping hand to undeveloped and developing places.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
NGO's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
This expression is normally spelled as one or with hyphen.
non profit
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
.

To recapitulate, wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
well funded NGO's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
which are not developed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It will
ultimately
create harmony and peace in the world.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
32Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people believe charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own countries. Others claim that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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