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Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.7

Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. v. 7
In recent decades, traffic congestion has been increasing in many countries, causing some public controversy. Although some people argue that the best way to deal with this problems is building and widening roads, I still believe that government investment in constructing more rail and subway networks would be more effective. On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why building more road can alleviate road congestion. First, since personal incomes have been greatly improved, especially in urban areas, more and more people can buy personal vehicles such as cars and motorbikes. Therefore, in order to adapt to the increase in the number of vehicles, constructing more new roads is imperative. Second, there is growing volume of traffic not only in cities but also countrysides. If governments do not invest to broader and create new roads, the issue of traffic jams would inevitably be exacerbated. On the other hand, it is more effective to build more rail and subway lines. It is clear that nowadays many people travel to work from the suburbs to centre cities. By building trains and subway systems in suburban areas, citizens in these areas would give up their personal vehicles like cars as the train is faster and more convenient. In addition, it is not easy to build new roads as land is rarely available to enable the construction. The metro network, for instance, would be the practical solution because it was built underground. In conclusion, I believe that governments should prioritize investing in rail and metro lines rather than building more and widening roads. Administrations around the world should encourage citizens using public transports to reduce traffic congestion.
In recent decades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion has been increasing in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, causing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
public controversy. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that the best way to deal with
Did you mean "these"?
this
problems is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
and widening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, I
still
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
investment in constructing more rail and subway networks would be more effective.

On the one hand, there are a number of reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
can alleviate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
congestion.
First
, since personal incomes have been
greatly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
,
especially
in urban areas, more and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
personal vehicles such as cars and motorbikes.
Therefore
, in order to adapt to the increase in the number of vehicles, constructing more new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
is imperative. Second, there is growing volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in cities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
countrysides. If
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
do not invest to broader and create new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, the issue of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jams would
inevitably
be exacerbated
.

On the other hand
, it is more effective to build more rail and subway lines. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that nowadays
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travel to work from the suburbs to
Possible spelling mistake. 'centre' is British English.
centre
cities. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
trains and subway systems in suburban areas, citizens in these areas would give up their personal vehicles like cars as the train is faster and more convenient.
In addition
, it is not easy to build new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
as land is rarely available to enable the construction. The metro network,
for instance
, would be the practical solution
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
was built
underground.

In conclusion
, I believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
should prioritize investing in rail and metro lines
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
more and widening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. Administrations around the world should encourage citizens using public transports to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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