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a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism industry. v.16

a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism industry. v. 16
Nowadays, Toursim as a modern method for earning money have been employed by governments in most of the countries. Although there are a number of drawbacks in this trend, the benefits accruing to places that attract tourists are by no means negligible. On the plus side, the advantages of travelling of people to attractive places are manifold. To begin with, By travelling, tourism to specific spots, most of the individuals in the world know more about them. To Simply put, by increasing the number of tourist visiting cities, they are more likely to spend money for daily routine activities such as accommodation, eating and entertaining, which would be result to better chance for local people. Take the tourist necessities as an example; by enchaining the number of the tourists, job opportunities for local people would be increased. Thus, the more income at the tourism spots, the more facilities to improve quality of the life for local people. However, the downside cannot be ignored. The most argument are concerned with crowded cities. that is to say, because at the most of the breathtaking places for visiting, living people have to participate the facilities of cities with new comers for several days. Considering that visitors are coming to spend their pastime so they need more fun that can bother for local people. A good illustration for this is soaring traffic, which can incredibly annoy people who are neighbourhood with visitors. Hence, government authorities would not have any profit from income of attraction of the tourism, but they should invest the huge amount of money for increasing equipments of cities. To conclude, earning money from attraction of visitors to tourist spots can be rewarding and problematic. While they might help to enhance job opportunities, it can interrupt the routine life of local people in these spots.
Nowadays,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Toursim
as a modern method for earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
have
been employed
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
in most of the countries. Although there are a number of drawbacks in this trend, the benefits accruing to places that attract
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are by no means negligible.

On the plus side, the advantages of travelling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to attractive places are manifold. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, By travelling, tourism to specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spots
, most of the individuals in the world know more about them. To
Simply
put, by increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
visiting cities, they are more likely to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for daily routine activities such as accommodation, eating and entertaining, which would be result to better chance for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Take the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
necessities as an example; by enchaining the number of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
, job opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
be increased
.
Thus
, the more income at the tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spots
, the more facilities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
quality of the life for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

However
, the downside cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
. The most argument
are concerned
with crowded cities.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
that
is to say,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
at the most of the breathtaking places for visiting, living
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
participate the facilities of cities with
Did you mean "newcomers"?
new comers
for several days. Considering that visitors are coming to spend their pastime
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they need more fun that can bother for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration for this is soaring traffic, which can
incredibly
annoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who are
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbourhood' is British English.
neighbourhood
with visitors.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
authorities would not have any profit from income of attraction of the tourism,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they should invest the huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for increasing equipments of cities.

To conclude
, earning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
from attraction of visitors to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spots
can be rewarding and problematic. While they might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to enhance job opportunities, it can interrupt the routine life of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spots
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is wine upon the lips. – Virginia WoolfInspirational quotes for language learners
Virginia Woolf

IELTS essay a lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism industry. v. 16

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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