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Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. v. 2
Opinions are divided on whether by spending money on building train and subway lines, government can lower traffic congestion or whether traffic jam will be decreased by focusing on building more and wider roads. While I understand why some people support the former view, I am still in favor of the later. People who believe that the traffic jam can be declined if authority invests money in public transportations have several arguments. From their point of view, this mode of transportation can carry a lot of passengers at the same time, so it can help reduce the number of people on streets. Another point to be made is CO2 emission from private means is more than the public transports. Therefore, accessing public transport will improve the air quality and limit pollution. Nevertheless, I still side with those who believe building more and wider roads helps lessen the traffic problem. This is due to the fact that the number of road accidents has gone up annually as the large number of the holes in the road’s surface. Thus, the ministry should use money for improving the quality of the road to ensure the safety of people. Another reason to be given is that widening and constructing new streets can bring many benefits. There will create more spaces for means of transport, so it helps reduce the transport congestion. In conclusion, despite acknowledging why people think traffic congestion will be diminished by developing more on public transportations, I hold the belief it is better to concentrate on establishing more and broaden roads.
Opinions
are divided
on whether by spending money on building train and subway lines,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
can lower
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion or whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam will
be decreased
by focusing on building more and wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. While I understand why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support the former view, I am
still
in favor of the
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?
later
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
jam can
be declined
if authority invests money in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportations have several arguments. From their point of view, this mode of transportation can carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
passengers at the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on streets. Another point to
be made
is CO2 emission from private means is more than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transports
.
Therefore
, accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the air quality and limit pollution.

Nevertheless
, I
still
side with those who believe building more and wider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
lessen the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
problem.
This is due to the fact that
the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
accidents has gone up
annually
as the large number of the holes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road’s
surface.
Thus
, the ministry should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
money for improving the quality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
to ensure the safety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Another reason to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
is that widening and constructing new streets can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits. There will create more spaces for means of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
transport
congestion.

In conclusion
, despite acknowledging why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
traffic
congestion will
be diminished
by developing more on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
transportations, I hold the belief it is better to concentrate on establishing more and broaden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people believe government should spend money on building train and subway lines to reduce traffic congestion. Others think that building more and wider roads is the better way to reduce traffic congestion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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