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It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. v. 2
It is undeniable that attending universities gains increasing popularity in all nations across the globe. While it is believed that bringing tertiary education within the reach of more youngsters is impossible and unnecessary, I absolutely agree. There are some sound reasons why the access to higher education does not need to be offered to younger people. The first reason is that for some jobs, particularly blue-collar jobs, academic degrees and 4-year training programs in universities are not indispensable requirements sought by almost every recruiter. This means that short training courses in several months up to a year in vocational schools not only help them to become well-placed in the job market but also save their time and money. Other than that, not all people have ability to meet strict demands on the acquisition and application of knowledge and finance. The reason is that if students do not possess superior academic skills to finish academic works, including dissertations and projects or the school fees are unaffordable, they can drop out of schools by themselves or be suspended due to poor academic performance, which is a waste of time and money of theirs and the government. Besides, the impossibility of this project needs to be taken into consideration for some compelling explanations. First of all, providing education in universities on a large scale can be considered as a culprit behind the deterioration of the environment, especially forests. This is because the proliferation of the population is exerting greater pressure on the housing supply system, which means that numerous of trees will be chopped down to make way for institutions with a view to accommodating the ever increasing number of students. Moreover, the greater pressure on the government's budget can be attributed to making higher education accessible to the wider public. When more students can attend to universities, the government has to allocated their financial resources which are being used to tackle serious problems such as starvation, illiteracy and crimes that citizens, particularly those who live in poor or disaster-prone areas, need to fight against to facilitate the development of facilities and hire more professors in universities. All in all, providing the access to the tertiary education on a large scale not only is not useful but also surpasses the ability of the authorities.
It is undeniable that attending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
gains increasing popularity in all nations across the globe. While it
is believed
that bringing tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
within the reach of more youngsters is impossible and unnecessary, I
absolutely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sound reasons why the access to higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
does not need to
be offered
to younger
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. The
first
reason is that for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
jobs,
particularly
blue-collar jobs,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
degrees and 4-year training programs in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
are not indispensable requirements sought by almost every recruiter. This means that short training courses in several months up to a year in vocational schools not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to become well-placed in the job market
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
save their time and money. Other than that, not all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
strict demands on the acquisition and application of knowledge and finance. The reason is that if students do not possess superior
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to finish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
works, including dissertations and projects or the school fees are unaffordable, they can drop out of schools by themselves or
be suspended
due to poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance, which is a waste of time and money of theirs and the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

Besides
, the impossibility of this project needs to
be taken
into consideration for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
compelling explanations.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
on a large scale can
be considered
as a culprit behind the deterioration of the environment,
especially
forests. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the proliferation of the population is exerting greater pressure on the housing supply system, which means that numerous of trees will
be chopped
down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
way for institutions with a view to accommodating the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ever increasing
number of students.
Moreover
, the greater pressure on the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
's budget can
be attributed
to making higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
accessible to the wider public. When more students can attend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
allocated their financial resources which are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to tackle serious problems such as starvation, illiteracy and crimes that citizens,
particularly
those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in poor or disaster-prone areas, need to fight against to facilitate the development of facilities and hire more professors in universities.

All in all, providing the access to the tertiary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
on a large scale not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is not useful
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
surpasses the ability of the authorities.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Knowledge of languages is the doorway to wisdom.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay It is neither possible nor useful for a country to provide university places for a high proportion of young people. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
381 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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