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Some people believe charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own country.others claim that these organisations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live.Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people believe charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own countries. Others claim that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. v. 3
It is argued by some sections of society that Non - profit organistion should solely stond with the people of their native country when they need help, while the rest of them hold a view that these institutions should provide help Internationally. Owing to various reasons, I favour former side, however both the views would be elucidated ahead. Admittedly, most of the Charitiies within any Country recieve funds from local people, Likewise it is their first preference to render aid to their own country people, because this would help the Charities to increase their funds, this is because when people see that these Charities are helping more and more people in their own native nation, then may more people would encouraged in the country to supply fund to these voluntary organisations. Moreover there are number of Charitable institutions different countries, that have only limited resources and funds, however it lefts them only to fulfill the need of help in their own locality. Nevertheless, In my opinion, when these Charity organisation eager to help across their national boundary, it would bonds with another countries, it not only prevent many conflicts but also increase the respect of that chartties and countries from which they belong as well as they would also take a help from that another country future if they need. Another reason that can be Considered essential is that it would also increase their Investors, likely at the time they help otherscountures, this would promote the countries to various nations and that Voluntary organisation may get popular internationally for recieving fundo to aid all over the world. To conclude, although Charities should help the people of their own country if they have extra funds they should aid internationally. This would be extremely beneficial for human race in long turn.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sections of society that Non
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
profit
Possible spelling mistake found.
organistion
should
solely
Possible spelling mistake found.
stond
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
when they need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
, while the rest of them hold a view that these institutions should provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
Internationally
. Owing to various reasons, I
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
former side,
however
both the views would
be elucidated
ahead.

Admittedly
, most of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
Charitiies
within

any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Country
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieve
funds from local
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
it is their
first
preference to render aid to their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Charities
to increase their funds, this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that

these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Charities
are helping more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
native nation, then may more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "encourage"
encouraged
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to supply
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fund
to these voluntary
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
there are number of Charitable institutions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, that have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
limited resources and funds,
however
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun 'it'. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
it lefts
them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
to fulfill the need of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
locality.

Nevertheless
, In my opinion, when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Charity
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
eager to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
across their national boundary, it would
The verb 'would' requires the base form of the verb: "bond"
bonds
with another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, it not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
conflicts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
increase the respect of that
Possible spelling mistake found.
chartties
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
from which they belong
as well
as they would
also
take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
from that another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
future if they need. Another reason that can
be Considered
essential is that it would
also
increase their Investors, likely at the time they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
Possible spelling mistake found.
otherscountures
, this would promote the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to various nations and that Voluntary
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
popular
internationally
for
Possible spelling mistake found.
recieving
Possible spelling mistake found.
fundo
to aid all over the world.

To conclude
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Charities
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
if they have extra funds they should aid
internationally
. This would be
extremely
beneficial for human race in long turn.
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IELTS essay Some people believe charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own country. others claim that these organisations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
299 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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