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Some people believe charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own countries. Others claim that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. Discuss both opinions and tell which side do you agree? v.2

Some people believe charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own countries. Others claim that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. v. 2
According to some people, charities should help only those people who live within their national boundaries; notwithstanding this, others opine that they should provide assistance everywhere. In my opinion, it depends on the mission of the organization and its resources. Well-funded charities can offer help everywhere; those that are short of resources should prioritize their own people. On the one hand, if NGOs decide to serve only the people of their country, we cannot quite blame them. After all, their resources come from the local people and as such when this money is utilized for the benefit of the locals, it is fully justified. Charitable work focusing on local issues also satisfies donors who are eager to see a resolution to the problems affecting their country or community. Also, many charitable organizations have limited resources. For example, charities operating in poor countries are often short of resources. They cannot provide help abroad. If they attempt to do this, they will only antagonize the local community that funds their initiatives. On the other hand, there are many international organizations, flush with cash and other resources. For instance, UNICEF is an international organization which aims to aid children worldwide. They receive funding from affluent countries and hence they are quite capable of offering assistance in any part of the world. There are several such organizations that have the backing of developed countries. It is their moral and constitutional responsibility to provide assistance to needy people everywhere. To conclude, charities should work with the objective of helping the needy. Who they should help or where they should provide help depends on their financial situation and objectives
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
within their national boundaries; notwithstanding this, others opine that they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
assistance everywhere. In my opinion, it depends on the mission of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
and its resources. Well-funded
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
can offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
everywhere; those that are short of resources should prioritize their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the one hand, if NGOs decide to serve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, we cannot quite blame them.
After all
, their resources
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and as such when this money
is utilized
for the benefit of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
, it is
fully
justified. Charitable work focusing on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
issues
also
satisfies donors who are eager to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a resolution to the problems affecting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
or community.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
charitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
have limited resources.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
operating in poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
short of resources. They cannot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
abroad. If they attempt to do this, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
antagonize the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
community that funds their initiatives.

On the other hand
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
, flush with cash and other resources.
For instance
, UNICEF is an international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organization
which aims to aid children worldwide. They receive funding from affluent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and
hence
they are quite capable of offering assistance in any part of the world. There are several such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
organizations
that have the backing of developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. It is their moral and constitutional responsibility to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
assistance to needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
everywhere.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
charities
should work with the objective of helping the needy. Who they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
or where they should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
depends on their financial situation and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
objectives
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Some people believe charity organizations should only offer help to people of their own countries. Others claim that these organizations should give aid to people in great need wherever they live. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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