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Some people attracted to jobs that include a great deal of travel. Other peopleprefer jobs that allow them to return to their homes every evening. Which type of job opportunity would you prefer and why? v.2

Some people attracted to jobs that include a great deal of travel. Other peopleprefer jobs that allow them to return to their homes every evening. Which type of job opportunity would you prefer and why? v. 2
Because of the advancement and extensive growth of super stall in some nation, local trades are in the threat to stand against them. According to people this trend will be the reason of dying out of the native societies. Although this is true to some extent, I strongly believe that regional commerce and community both will be stand on. Undoubtedly, provincial products have great acceptance to the inhabitants of a country, which will deter them to obsolete from the business market. These goods have a number if significance in terms of religion and culture. Moreover, they represent a nation’s diversity to the world. Therefore, for these reasons not only the local trades but also the people associated with these will also be remained. For instance, in Bangladesh, Jamdani share still has its appeal to the consumers, even if there are other alternative apparels are available. On the other hand, supper shops are providing a plethora of options for the customers, which is a strong threat to the regional business. They are offering items with updated quality, features, and reasonable price. As a result, it has been predicted that people will become more likely to purchase commodities from these modern stores instead of the typical one; hence, the traditional companies will die out. Despite this, trading with the native people will be existed in different ways; they might be merged with the larger organization or connected with them in the supply-chain process, which will facilitate both the trade complexes to run on. For example, many brand stores are outsourcing their commodities from the nearby communities to reduce expenses. In conclusion, while in some cases typical organization might face some difficulties to continue their progress, there is no possibility of being extinct from the marketplace. However, they will be alive to maintain the distinction and also by blending with other organization.
Because
of the advancement and extensive growth of super stall in
some
nation, local trades are in the threat to stand against them. According to
people
this trend will be the reason of dying out of the native societies. Although this is true to
some
extent, I
strongly
believe that regional commerce and community both will be
stand
on.

Undoubtedly
, provincial products have great acceptance to the inhabitants of a country, which will deter them to obsolete from the business market. These
goods
have a number if significance in terms of religion and culture.
Moreover
, they represent a nation’s diversity to the world.
Therefore
, for these reasons not
only
the local trades
but
also
the
people
associated with these will
also
be remained
.
For instance
, in Bangladesh,
Jamdani
share
still
has its appeal to the consumers, even if there are other alternative apparels are available.

On the other hand
, supper shops are providing a plethora of options for the customers, which is a strong threat to the regional business. They are offering items with updated quality, features, and reasonable price.
As a result
, it has
been predicted
that
people
will become more likely to
purchase
commodities from these modern stores
instead
of the typical one;
hence
, the traditional
companies
will
die
out. Despite this, trading with the native
people
will
be existed
in
different
ways; they might
be merged
with the larger organization or connected with them in the supply-chain process, which will facilitate both the trade complexes to run on.
For example
,
many
brand stores are outsourcing their commodities from the nearby communities to
reduce
expenses.

In conclusion
, while in
some
cases typical organization might face
some
difficulties to continue their progress, there is no possibility of being extinct from the marketplace.
However
, they will be alive to maintain the distinction and
also
by blending with other organization.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people attracted to jobs that include a great deal of travel. Other peopleprefer jobs that allow them to return to their homes every evening. Which type of job opportunity would you prefer and why? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
309 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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