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Speaking topics *Some people attracted to jobs that include a great deal of travel. Other peopleprefer jobs that allow them to return to their homes every evening. Which type of job opportunity would you prefer and why? v.1

Speaking topics *Some people attracted to jobs that include a great deal of travel. Other peopleprefer jobs that allow them to return to their homes every evening. Which type of job opportunity would you prefer and why? v. 1
It is argued that prevention is the major solution to cope with illnesses and the authorities should invest in this instead of treating ill people. It is totally disagreed. Analysing the unfairness of depriving people from their human rights of receiving medical assistance, as well as the limitation in preventing illnesses only through a healthy lifestyle will prove this. Everyone has the right to have access to public health services because they pay taxes, which should return to the populations, in this case, particularly through health subsides. For example, North American citizens do not have public health assistance, but they do not pay as much taxes as Europeans, who are fully covered by their public health service. Hence, Americans have spare money to pay a private health insurance. It is clear that governments have to step in health issues when they are receiving money for this. Although a healthy lifestyle is relevant when it comes to preventing certain illnesses such as obesity, it is not the solution for all health problems. For instance, diabetes can be a genetic illness. Many people are not able to fight it only by avoiding eating sugar no matter how many campaigns the governments make to raise awareness in having healthy eating habits. For this reason, the resources to treat ill individuals have to be available whatsoever. In conclusion, it is totally disagreed that is more important to spend money on encouraging healthy habits than for the recovery of sick people. The health service is a right of all citizens who pay taxes and prevention is not suitable to address all health problems. Governments must invest massively in public medical assistance.
It
is argued
that prevention is the major solution to cope with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
and the authorities should invest in this
instead
of treating ill
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. It is
totally
disagreed.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Analysing' is British English.
Analysing
the unfairness of depriving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from their human rights of receiving medical assistance,
as well
as the limitation in preventing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
through a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle will prove this.

Everyone has the right to have access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
services
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
taxes, which should return to the populations,
in this case
,
particularly
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
subsides.
For example
, North American citizens do not have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
assistance,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
as
Use "many" with countable nouns.
much
taxes as Europeans, who are
fully
covered by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
service.
Hence
, Americans have spare money to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
a private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
insurance. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
step in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues when they are receiving money for this.

Although a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
lifestyle is relevant when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to preventing certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illnesses
such as obesity, it is not the solution for all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.
For instance
, diabetes can be a genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
illness
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not able to fight it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by avoiding eating sugar no matter how
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
campaigns the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
to raise awareness in having
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating habits.
For this reason
, the resources to treat ill individuals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be available whatsoever.

In conclusion
, it is
totally
disagreed
that is
more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to spend money on encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
habits than for the recovery of sick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
service is a right of all citizens who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
taxes and prevention is not suitable to address all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problems.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest
massively
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
public
medical assistance.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Speaking topics *Some people attracted to jobs that include a great deal of travel. Other peopleprefer jobs that allow them to return to their homes every evening. Which type of job opportunity would you prefer and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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