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Think about a helpful classmate. Give three reasons to explain what featuresmake this person so helpful. v.2

Think about a helpful classmate. Give three reasons to explain what featuresmake this person so helpful. v. 2
It is argued by some that young people’s language skills is affected badly by the excessive use of smart phones. I completely agree with this statement, as this epidemic behaviour is commonly seen in today’s world. The main compelling reason is because they are always on their phone whenever they are awake. As researcher believes, this has affected their brain to crave for instant gratification. For instance, young adults like the fact that they will receive a huge amount of responses to their social media right after posting a certain video or images. This unrealistic expectation has also affected the way they responded on their friend’s posting swiftly with a lot of abbreviations which hurt their literacy skills poorly. Another reason related to instant gratification is the way we communicate through messenger application such as ‘Whatsapp’, ‘Line’, and ‘Facebook Messenger’. These applications have the functionality to send a message to another person in a form of stickers or animated images in order to give reaction in a shorter time. This example is causing the youth to use their language even less. Finally, with the help of today’s technology, some application on the mobile phone have the Artificial Intelligent (AI) ability to predict a template to reply to their friend’s. For example, “Carousell” have an AI function in their seller-buyer chat room which has an eighty percent accuracy in my experience. In conclusion, I totally agree that the usage of mobile electronic devices has impacted the literacy skill of our young mind. Given this situation, the government should look up for a way to sharpen their writing skills through a national wide campaign.
It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s language
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
badly
by the excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of smart phones. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement, as this epidemic
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
is
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world.

The main compelling reason is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are always on their phone whenever they are awake. As researcher believes, this has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
their brain to crave for instant gratification.
For instance
, young adults like the fact that they will receive a huge amount of responses to their social media right after posting a certain video or images. This unrealistic expectation has
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
the way they responded on their friend’s posting
swiftly
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
abbreviations which hurt their literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
poorly
.

Another reason related to instant gratification is the way we communicate through messenger application such as ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
’, ‘Line’, and ‘Facebook Messenger’. These applications have the functionality to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a message to another person in a form of stickers or animated images in order to give reaction in a shorter time. This example is causing the youth to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their language even less.

Finally
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s technology,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
application on the mobile phone have the Artificial Intelligent (AI) ability to predict a template to reply to their friend’s.
For example
, “
Possible spelling mistake found.
Carousell
” have an AI function in their seller-buyer chat room which has an eighty percent accuracy in my experience.

In conclusion
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the usage of mobile electronic devices has impacted the literacy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of our young mind.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Given
this situation, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should look up for a way to sharpen their writing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
through a national wide campaign.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A man who knows two languages is worth two men.
French Proverb

IELTS essay Think about a helpful classmate. Give three reasons to explain what featuresmake this person so helpful. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
272 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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