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The professor proposes two solutions to the problem the woman describes. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v.1

The professor proposes two solutions to the problem the woman describes. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 1
Many people believe that zoos are of paramount importance in protecting wild animals, whereas others think that zoos should be shut down as locking up that animals in these places are cruel. This essay sheds light on both points of view and presents my opinion. On the one hand, there are manifold reasons why people believe zoos are beneficial. Firstly, due to the detrimental effects of global warming that are more likely to cause deforestation which deprived exotic animals of their natural habitat and food source, zoos, where provide shelter for them from under threat, are the ideal place. Moreover, zoos can preserve endangered animals which are on the verge of extinction and prevent them from poachers or wildlife traffickers. Secondly, by virtue of zoos, it allows people to gain deeper insight into the knowledge and awareness of different wildlife species from aquatic to terrestrial to volant animals. On the other hand, to begin with, zoos prevent animals from doing most of the things that are natural and important to them such as running or roaming. Being kept in cages, they may feel bored, cramped, deprived of freedom while they long for natural habitats. Thus, it can be regarded as passively killing the animals. Furthermore, in many zoos, animals are being mistreated as their top priority is profit. For instance, elephants are forced to paint the pictures with their trunks or lift up people to serve for entertaining for humans. Therefore, it is very easy for us to see the animals being underfed and poor living conditions. In conclusion, despite creating certain downsides, I believe that zoos are the appropriate place in terms of preserving endangered animals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that zoos are of paramount importance in protecting wild
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that zoos should
be shut
down as locking up that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in these places are cruel. This essay sheds light on both points of view and presents my opinion.

On the one hand, there are manifold reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe zoos are beneficial.
Firstly
, due to the detrimental effects of global warming that are more likely to cause deforestation which deprived exotic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
of their natural habitat and food source, zoos, where provide shelter for them from under threat, are the ideal place.
Moreover
, zoos can preserve endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
which are on the verge of extinction and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from poachers or wildlife traffickers.
Secondly
, by virtue of zoos, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to gain deeper insight into the knowledge and awareness of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
wildlife species from aquatic to terrestrial to
Possible spelling mistake found.
volant
animals.

On the other hand
, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, zoos
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
from doing most of the things that are natural and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to them such as running or roaming. Being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in cages, they may feel bored, cramped, deprived of freedom while they long for natural habitats.
Thus
, it can
be regarded
as
passively
killing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
Furthermore
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
zoos,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
being mistreated
as their top priority is profit.
For instance
, elephants
are forced
to paint the pictures with their trunks or
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "lift".
lift up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to serve for entertaining for humans.
Therefore
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easy for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
being underfed
and poor living conditions.

In conclusion
, despite creating certain downsides, I believe that zoos are the appropriate place in terms of preserving endangered
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay The professor proposes two solutions to the problem the woman describes. Briefly summarize the problem. Then state which solution you would recommend. Explain the reasons for your recommendation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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