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Some people argues that technology invention such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people argues that technology invention such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. v. 1
Certain people says that, due to the advancement in technology like smart phones, humans are socially connected less likely. It is true that, nowadays lots of people are spending too much of time on social media rather than having a face-to-face communication. This essay agrees to the statement made that, many of the humans are not connecting socially. This essay will discuss about why humans are not having a face-to-face interaction. In addition, it will also discuss about what are consequences. To begin with, number of mankind from younger to older ages, they are meeting on social media like Whatsapp and Facebook to interact with their close relation who are in any part of the world. This makes communication faster & easier, due to an enhancement in technology. For example, one of my cousin who lives in Australia for his higher studies can get interactive with my parents & relatives through the social media. This is accessible due to the technology. So that, we get to know about his health & education. Secondly, the effects of technology, such as mobiles, have curse impact on one's life, which leads to problems like health & psychological issues. Moreover, the ages from children to senior citizens are not communicated with each other facial, as earlier people were gathering together & sharing their knowledge, experience & fun moments. This part is seems to be disappeared from past ten years. For instance, according to the Hindustan Time in 2018, 90% mankinds are so called socially active on social media, but I'm realistic they end up making few friends. To conclude, the use of cell phones should be for necessary purpose, which will have a good impact on users for communication purpose. Although, the smart phones have its own bane, it depends upon the proper utilization & control over phones.
Certain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
says
that, due to the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
like smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, humans are
socially
connected less likely. It is true that, nowadays lots of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are spending too much of time on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
rather
than having a face-to-face communication. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
to the statement made that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of the humans are not connecting
socially
. This essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss why"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about why
humans are not having a face-to-face interaction.
In addition
, it will
also
Did you mean simply "discuss what"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about what
are consequences.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, number of mankind from younger to older ages, they are meeting on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whatsapp
and Facebook to interact with their close relation who are in any part of the world. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
communication faster & easier, due to an enhancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
For example
, one of my cousin who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in Australia for his higher studies can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
interactive with my parents & relatives through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
. This is accessible due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
that, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to know about his health & education.

Secondly
, the effects of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, such as mobiles, have curse impact on one's life, which leads to problems like health & psychological issues.
Moreover
, the ages from children to senior citizens are not communicated with each other facial, as earlier
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were gathering together & sharing their knowledge, experience & fun moments. This part is seems to
be disappeared
from past ten years.
For instance
, according to the Hindustan Time in 2018, 90%
Possible spelling mistake found.
mankinds
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
called
socially
active on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I'm realistic they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up making few friends.

To conclude
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of cell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
should be for necessary purpose, which will have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
impact on users for communication purpose. Although, the smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
bane, it depends upon the proper utilization & control over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argues that technology invention such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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