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Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree? v.2

Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. v. 2
Nowadays, human life easier because of technological improvement. Some technology also found to better communication, but some people think these kinds of inventions impact social interaction between people. Although communication can be easier with this technology, I think, that a bad impact on people's interaction in their social life. There are so many reasons for people became less interactive because of technical evaluation. First and foremost, there are so many social sites available in which people are more interested in their likes and comments. People have been more fond of social media because of their appealing features. For example, most of the people wish birthdays of others on their social media rather than meet them personally. People might not feel bored with the usage of social media because of features so that they not interested to face to face conversations. Moreover, technological platforms, which are famous for their society related reviews, allowed people to share their opinion. Some youngsters wanted to give an opinion, although they cannot give it because of some circumstances. To specify, some parents are strict who is not take child reviews as a serious note, so that some children share their views on social sites. To illustrate, most youngsters update their real-life situations rather than share with their parents. Thus, some flexibility in technological innovation became people to less interactive. To conclude, more evolution of technology helpful in life while, these inventions impact social conversation. In my opinion, the feature of technology and no restriction in opinion on any topic, both are the main reasons for making people less communicative.
Nowadays, human life easier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technological improvement.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
also
found to better communication,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
these kinds of inventions impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Although communication can be easier with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
, that a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
impact on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's interaction in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
life.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
became less interactive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of technical evaluation.
First
and foremost, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites available in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are more interested in their likes and comments.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have been more fond of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their appealing features.
For example
, most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
wish birthdays of others on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
rather
than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them
personally
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
might not feel bored with the usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of features
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they not interested
This phrase is duplicated. You should probably leave only "to face".
to face to face
conversations.

Moreover
, technological platforms, which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for their society related reviews,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to share their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
youngsters wanted to give an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, although they cannot give it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances. To specify,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
parents are strict who is not take child reviews as a serious note,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
children share their views on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites. To illustrate, most youngsters update their real-life situations
rather
than share with their parents.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
flexibility in technological innovation became
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to less interactive.

To conclude
, more evolution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
helpful in life while, these inventions impact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
conversation. In my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
, the feature of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and no restriction in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
opinion
on any topic, both are the main reasons for making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
less communicative.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that technological inventions, such as mobile phones, are making people socially less interactive. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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