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Some people argue that technological intervention such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree. v.1

Some people argue that technological intervention such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. v. 1
Technology dominates the human life today, it has been interwoven in our routine. Several individuals believe that high tech intercession; to give an instance, the handheld communicator is allowing the populace to be not so much of a companion to one another. With this laid statement, I strongly disagree and this will be discussed in the essay. To start with, communication is very paramount in our daily life activities, with regards to the mobile phone, which is the most popular gadget in today's world and it has helped in revolutionizing the way we communicate, especially in these days of outdated letter writing. For example, this cell service has been of tremendous help so much that we can stay in touch with family, friends and colleagues, irrespective of their timing and location, also, it aids in delivering information to the receiver fast, with the aim of getting a reply at the earliest possible time. In addition, users can send text messages via this means, surf the internet (E. G for quick access to confusing terms and info's), take photographs, to keep for memorial intentions and listening to music, which is a good way of relaxing from stressful activity. Furthermore, mobile phones have also become part of fashion accessories that everyone desire's it's needed To conclude, even though, there are demerits of cell phones as believed by some school of thought, where which, it is said to have taken the place of true rapport amongst one another, the benefits of having it outweighs this reason.
Technology dominates the human life
today
, it has been interwoven in our routine. Several individuals believe that high tech intercession; to give an instance, the handheld communicator is allowing the populace to be not
so
much of a companion to one another. With this laid statement, I
strongly
disagree and this will
be discussed
in the essay.

To
start
with, communication is
very
paramount in our daily life activities,
with regards to
the mobile phone, which is the most popular gadget in
today
's world and it has
helped
in revolutionizing the way we communicate,
especially
in these days of outdated letter writing.
For example
, this cell service has been of tremendous
help
so
much that we can stay in touch with family, friends and colleagues, irrespective of their timing and location,
also
, it aids in delivering information to the receiver
fast
, with the aim of getting a reply at the earliest possible time.
In addition
, users can
send
text messages via this means, surf the internet (E. G for quick access to confusing terms and info's), take photographs, to
keep
for memorial intentions and listening to music, which is a
good
way of relaxing from stressful activity.
Furthermore
, mobile phones have
also
become part of fashion accessories that everyone
desire's
it's needed

To conclude
,
even though
, there are demerits of cell phones as believed by
some
school of
thought
, where which, it
is said
to have taken the place of true rapport amongst one another, the benefits of having it outweighs this reason.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that technological intervention such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
253 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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