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Some people argue that technological interventions such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people argue that technological interventions such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. v. 1
Mobile phones are the one of the biggest technological revolutions in the 20th century. They completely changed the way we communicate. It is a smart phone era phone era now, which gives browse anything from anywhere in the world with internet. After communication, entertainment comes up. Today's entertainment world is completely laid on smart phones. Some people suggest, smart phones killing social interaction. There is a bitter truth in it. There is nothing that smart phones can't do these days. You can watch movies, shows, make video calls, play video games, online shopping what not. These options can make you addicted to smart phones. There are a lot of advantages with them, the world became smaller. No need to run anywhere to make a phone call, you are just one button away to see your family and friends, no need to drive to shops for shopping, with one click you can purchase any item and it will be delivered to your door step. These are the things may sound like fantasy 20 years back, but now all those are possible, mobile phones made them possible. However, there are, some pitfalls that can easily overwhelm the benefits of the mobile phone. Addiction to them is the main complaint. In fact, there are a lot side effects like damaging ecosystem, but addiction to mobile phones is one of the biggest issues facing by this generation. It is not only killing time, but also making a social damage. People who always glued to smart phones, they spend less time with people and with their family. This causes a very big damage to society because it will affect relations which are very crucial to humans. It also causes physical damage to collar bone, which is really hard to heal. Effecting education and working efficiency are another damage by addiction. To avoid this, one must reduce time they are spending on mobile phones, they must avoid phones when they are spending time with family. Dedicating limited time to phone usage will be helpful, try to participate in some social events will our relations with everyone. To conclude, excessive usage of phones causes colossal damage to our social relations. To avoid that, we must reduce the usage of it.
Mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
are the one of the biggest technological revolutions in the 20th century. They completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
the way we communicate. It is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
era
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
era
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, which gives browse anything from anywhere in the world with internet. After communication, entertainment
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
up.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
's entertainment world is completely laid on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
interaction. There is a bitter truth in it.

There is nothing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
can't do these days. You can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
movies,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
video calls, play video games, online shopping what not. These options can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you addicted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advantages with them, the world became smaller. No need to run anywhere to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
call, you are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one button away to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
your family and friends, no need to drive to shops for shopping, with one click you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
any item and it will
be delivered
to your door step. These are the things may sound like fantasy 20 years back,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
all those are possible, mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
made them possible.

However
, there are,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pitfalls that can
easily
overwhelm the benefits of the mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
. Addiction to them is the main complaint. In fact, there are
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lot of side"?
a lot side
effects like damaging ecosystem,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
addiction to mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
is one of the biggest issues facing by this generation. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
killing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
making a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
who always glued to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
smart
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, they spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and with their family. This causes a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
to society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will affect relations which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial to humans. It
also
causes physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
to collar bone, which is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to heal. Effecting education and working efficiency are another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
by addiction. To avoid this, one
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they are spending on mobile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
when they are spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with family. Dedicating limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phone
usage will be helpful, try to participate in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
will our relations with everyone.

To conclude
, excessive usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
phones
causes colossal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
damage
to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
relations. To avoid that, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the usage of it.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
36Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that technological interventions such as mobile phones are making people socially less interactive. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
373 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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