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Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. v.9

Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 9
These days the appearance has a lot of consideration around the world. Many people judge others by their clothes, phone, and car for example. At the companies' level, some of them care about their stuff dresses while others deem that not interested. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my conclusion. On one hand, some companies argue that they have to focus on work goodness and ignore all other invaluable things. They confirm that all what they want is to produce ideal and perfect products. For example, Apple company generates great mobile phones that speared around the world because of its unordenary and significant features. Although, this company does not oblige its employees to wear a unified grab. On the other hand, several companies take care a lot about the stuff uniform. Many organizations, especially those who provide services and deal with customers believe that the most important thing they interest in is customer confidence. They supposed that the more good employee appearance, the more customer trust. For example, when anyone wants to reside in a hotel the first thing he notices is stuff uniform’s look and cleanness. This proves clearly that the appearance will affect consumer decision. To conclude, after viewing both points, I believe that employees dress is a matter that organizations should concentrate on. Because, people by their nature like attention, arrangement, and interest. And the appearance of stuff is the clearest thing that indicates the seriousness of the company.
These days the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
consideration around the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
judge others by their clothes, phone, and car
for example
. At the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
' level,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them care about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stuff
dresses while others deem that not interested. This essay will discuss both sides and will draw my conclusion.

On one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
argue that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on work goodness and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignore
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
invaluable things. They confirm that all what they want is to produce ideal and perfect products.
For example
, Apple
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
generates great mobile phones that speared around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its
Possible spelling mistake found.
unordenary
and significant features.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
does not oblige its employees to wear a unified grab.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
take care a lot about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stuff
uniform.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
organizations,
especially
those who provide services and deal with customers believe that the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing they interest in is customer confidence. They supposed that the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
employee
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
, the more customer trust.
For example
, when anyone wants to reside in a hotel the
first
thing he notices is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stuff
uniform’s look and cleanness. This proves
clearly
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
will affect consumer decision.

To conclude
, after viewing both points, I believe that employees dress is a matter that organizations should concentrate on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
by their nature like attention, arrangement, and interest. And the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
appearance
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
stuff
is the clearest thing that indicates the seriousness of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
15Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some organisations believe that their employees should dress smartly. Others value quality of work above appearance. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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