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Some people argue that it is parents’ duty to teach their children to be good members of the society. Others, however, disagree with this statement and opine that children should learn this from their school and teachers should play the vital role to prepare them as ideal members of society. v.1

Some people argue that it is parents’ duty to teach their children to be good members of the society. Others, however, disagree with this statement and opine that children should learn this from their school and teachers should play the vital role to prepare them as ideal members of society. v. 1
One of the most controversial issues today relates to whether the parents or teachers in the school have the responsibility to teach children to be good citizens. Therefore, we will examine both sides of the issues in this essay. Undoubtedly, parents have an indispensable role in guiding their children when they are small to the right path towards their future lives. It is proven that children are more influenced by their parents than anyone else. They will think that what their parents do is always right, thus parents are advisable to be an excellent role model for their children. Parents, for example, could teach them the good moral values through storytelling. It is not only will benefit the individuals themselves but a society as well. Nevertheless, teachers should do their part well in school by teaching the children what are the good values. Children nowadays spend most of their daytime in school, so teachers have the most important obligation to make sure the children turn out to be a well-behaved member of society. It is encouraged that teachers should punish the students whenever they make mistakes such as fighting in school. By doing this, the students will know that fighting is a bad behaviour and they may change their way of behavioural and it can also act as a deterrent to other students. Besides, teachers can also emphasise the importance of being a good individual in terms of behaviour while teaching. In conclusion, both parents and teachers in the school are responsible for ensuring their children to behave mannerly when they are young.
One of the most controversial issues
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
relates to whether the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have the responsibility to teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
citizens.
Therefore
, we will examine both sides of the issues in this essay.

Undoubtedly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have an indispensable role in guiding their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
to the right path towards their future
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. It
is proven
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are more influenced by their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
than anyone else. They will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that what their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do is always right,
thus
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are advisable to be an excellent role model for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
,
for example
, could teach them the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
moral values through storytelling. It is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will benefit the individuals themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a society
as well
.

Nevertheless
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should do their part well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
by teaching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
what are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
values.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
nowadays spend most of their daytime in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
have the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
obligation to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
turn out to be a well-behaved member of society. It
is encouraged
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should punish the students whenever they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
mistakes such as fighting in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. By doing this, the students will know that fighting is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
behaviour and
they may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their way of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behavioural' is British English.
behavioural
and it can
also
act as a deterrent to other students.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
can
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'emphasise' is British English.
emphasise
the importance of being a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
individual in terms of
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
while teaching.

In conclusion
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
are responsible for ensuring their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to behave
mannerly
when they are young.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
30Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning another language is not only learning different words for the same things, but learning another way to think about things.
Flora Lewis

IELTS essay Some people argue that it is parents’ duty to teach their children to be good members of the society. Others, however, disagree with this statement and opine that children should learn this from their school and teachers should play the vital role to prepare them as ideal members of society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
263 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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