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Many people think that employing and exploiting animals for basic human needs is totally justified while others opine that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans. v.2

Many people think that employing and exploiting animals for basic human needs is totally justified while others opine that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans. v. 2
One of the most controversial issues, these days is related to, how animals should be treated by individuals. Although, some people declare that we need only to stop hitting and killing the various animals around us, but I believe that a strict law by governments should be applied to save these creatures. An analysed debate will be provided before a reasonable conclusion will be found in the next paragraphs. Some People claims, that dealing with animals for a long time, help a sheer change in personalities and adopt inhuman attitudes. Also, some expert state that the only place where animals fit is research and experiment facilities. They also clearly say that farms are the perfect way to contain farming animals, so humanity can use them meat, milk and even leather. They also argued that majority of fatal sickness generated by farming animals. For instance, take SARS as an obvious example of that and how farming birds help to spread it. On the other hand, the advocate of animal rights state, that we are dealing with poor creatures, which do not have the ability to identify the differences between good actions and a bad one. In addition, childhood consultant trust that, the majority of child violence actions children do against the younger children is related to copying parents actions towards farming animals. For example, a 7-years-old child killed his younger sister with axe copying what his father doing to them farming cheeps. To sum up, this argument will last long until people and governments agreed that we have to keep these animals safe, as well as I agreed.
One of the most controversial issues, these days
is related
to, how
animals
should
be treated
by individuals. Although,
some
people
declare that we need
only
to
stop
hitting and killing the various
animals
around us,
but
I believe that a strict law by
governments
should
be applied
to save these creatures. An
analysed
debate will
be provided
before
a reasonable conclusion will
be found
in the
next
paragraphs.

Some
People
claims
, that dealing with
animals
for a long time,
help
a sheer
change
in personalities and adopt inhuman attitudes.
Also
,
some
expert state that the
only
place where
animals
fit is research and experiment facilities. They
also
clearly
say that farms are the perfect way to contain
farming
animals
,
so
humanity can
use
them meat, milk and even leather. They
also
argued that majority of fatal sickness generated by
farming
animals
.
For instance
, take SARS as an obvious example of that and how
farming
birds
help
to spread it.

On the other hand
, the advocate of
animal
rights state, that we are dealing with poor creatures, which do not have the ability to identify the differences between
good
actions and a
bad
one.
In addition
, childhood consultant trust that, the majority of child violence actions children do against the younger children
is related
to copying parents actions towards
farming
animals
.
For example
, a 7-years-
old
child killed his younger sister with axe copying what his father doing to them
farming
cheeps.

To sum up, this argument will last long until
people
and
governments
agreed
that we
have to
keep
these
animals
safe,
as well
as I
agreed
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Many people think that employing and exploiting animals for basic human needs is totally justified while others opine that animals should not be exploited by people and they should have the same rights as humans. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
267 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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