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People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? How can we create an ideal society? v.2

People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? How can we create an ideal society? v. 2
Throughout the history, there have been a number of socialists putting their efforts into idealizing our society, but sadly, it is far from reaching that target. In this essay, I will state my ideas about a living worthy community as well as providing some solutions to achieve. It is believed that an ideal society is the place where inhabitants are able to enjoy a healthy atmosphere and minimize social evils. Nowadays, human is threatening to live in the spoiled environment which is placed at the highest risk. This leads to a variety of health disabilities from pollutions and overuse of chemicals in agriculture that people are suffering day by day. Although some immediate actions such as implementing some stricter laws against pollution and growing organic foods have been on the way, these appear to be limited in usage and efficiency. What is more, local authorities are currently facing a handful of social issues both domestically and regionally, and these matters need to be eliminated to build an ideal place to live. However, doing so is not just in a moment of time. Perhaps the ultimate solution to create a fantasy world is that the national officials worldwide need to give a hand and mutually support. Ending hunger seems to be the most urgent as it is still happening in some parts of the world such as Africa. With the international aid agencies, the deprived nations can get out of the current situations and start to develop. Another suggestion could be the influence from education. When residents are well-educated, they are likely to understand what to help the society and therefore, crime rates would fall. As a saying goes, a good education is the key to build up a nation from the ground. In conclusion, an ideal society is not an illusion if humans comprehend what and how to achieve, and the key element is a step forward from our government’s policy.
Throughout the history, there have been a number of socialists putting their efforts into idealizing our
society
,
but
sadly
, it is far from reaching that target. In this essay, I will state my
ideas
about a living worthy community
as well
as providing
some
solutions to achieve.

It
is believed
that an ideal
society
is the place where inhabitants are able to enjoy a healthy atmosphere and minimize social evils. Nowadays, human is threatening to
live
in the spoiled environment which
is placed
at the highest
risk
. This leads to a variety of health disabilities from pollutions and overuse of chemicals in agriculture that
people
are suffering day by day. Although
some
immediate actions such as implementing
some
stricter laws against pollution and growing organic foods have been on the way, these appear to
be limited
in usage and efficiency.
What is more
, local authorities are
currently
facing a handful of social issues both
domestically
and
regionally
, and these matters need to
be eliminated
to build an ideal place to
live
.
However
, doing
so
is not
just
in a moment of time.

Perhaps the ultimate solution to create a fantasy world is that the national officials worldwide need to give a hand and
mutually
support. Ending hunger seems to be the most urgent as it is
still
happening in
some
parts of the world such as Africa. With the international aid agencies, the deprived nations can
get
out of the
current
situations and
start
to develop. Another suggestion could be the influence from education. When residents are well-educated, they are likely to understand what to
help
the
society
and
therefore
, crime rates would fall. As a saying goes, a
good
education is the key to build up a nation from the ground.

In conclusion
, an ideal
society
is not an illusion if humans comprehend what and how to achieve, and the key element is a step forward from our
government
’s policy.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay People often think about creating an ideal society, but most of the times fail in making this happen. What is your opinion about an ideal society? How can we create an ideal society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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