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Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. v.1

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. v. 1
There are people who support the idea that having an enjoyable job is more important than the high salary one, but others contradict this opinion and suggest that people should work for high paying jobs because it makes our professional and personal lives easier. Although the ideal situation would be to have a high salary work that we enjoy, this is not possible for everyone. It's more important to consider the fact that some people have a limited job choice because of education, poverty, and other material compensations. Some people spend an obscure amount of money on absurd things without thinking twice. However, they could manage a more preferable job with fewer work hours so they could spend more time with friends and family. I've seen from my experience that in affluent families father is the primary source of income and who works countless hours and rarely sees his children. I personally think that this is not a delightful lifestyle and it would be better if he found a job with less income that permits them to spend more time at home. Contrarily, life is much effortless when we have no problem in our financial lives and can afford anything we want anywhere, anytime without thinking if we are able to buy it. Most of the times people who are born in successful and wealthy families often become the rich ones themselves. High earnings also give us access to a longer, healthier life because our income allows us to do so, something low salary does not possess. To conclude this, In my opinion, it is more important to have a job you enjoy if it does not have the consequences of having less time to be with your family. In my point of view, it's not a big problem to have a job with low income, but the problem is that we spend too much money on needless things, and if manage our finances carefully, we could get the best of each.
There are
people
who support the
idea
that having an enjoyable
job
is more
important
than the
high
salary one,
but
others contradict this opinion and suggest that
people
should
work
for
high
paying
jobs
because
it
makes
our professional and personal
lives
easier. Although the ideal situation would be to have a
high
salary
work
that we enjoy, this is not possible for everyone. It's more
important
to consider the fact that
some
people
have a limited
job
choice
because
of education, poverty, and other material compensations.

Some
people
spend
an obscure amount of money on absurd things without thinking twice.
However
, they could manage a more preferable
job
with fewer
work
hours
so
they could
spend
more
time
with friends and
family
. I've
seen
from my experience that in affluent
families
father is the primary source of
income
and who works countless hours and rarely
sees
his children. I
personally
think
that this is not a delightful lifestyle and it would be better if he found a
job
with less
income
that permits them to
spend
more
time
at home.

Contrarily
, life is much effortless when we have no problem in our financial
lives
and can afford anything we want anywhere, anytime without thinking if we are able to
buy
it. Most of the
times
people
who
are born
in successful and wealthy
families
often
become the rich ones themselves.
High
earnings
also
give us access to a longer, healthier life
because
our
income
allows
us to do
so
, something low salary does not possess.

To conclude
this, In my opinion, it is more
important
to have a
job
you enjoy if it does not have the consequences of having less
time
to be with your
family
. In my point of view, it's not a
big
problem to have a
job
with low
income
,
but
the problem is that we
spend
too much money on needless things, and if manage our finances
carefully
, we could
get
the best of each.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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