Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. v. 1
The argument, about the importance of earning much money or working in a relaxing and stimulating place, has divided most of the population. Someone observes how an enjoyable job is better than a good salary for many reasons. Firstly, a comfortable atmosphere soars the level of hormones linked to physical well-being and reduces the stress, thus in this way, the risk of medical issues drop dramatically. Secondly, you could hang out quicker, rather than earning a lot and being unhappy during your work. Others disagree and think how money and goods are better in their life. They say how economic troubles influence the level of joyousness in a common family. Moreover, sometimes, when you could buy an exclusive product or something you wish ardently, in that moment you are really plenty of joy. Another reason could be linked to reduce the level of stress when you return at home, because of facilities bought thank to cash. In my opinion the truth is in the middle: in fact, both economic problems and job condition are important, but at the same time nothing of them is fundamental. Life is both working and house, thus you could get a job in a cute workplace, where your tasks are about something you approve and also trying to earn not few coins to avoid any troubles. In this way, you could live without stress on each part of the day. Summing up, the main idea of everything is researching happiness and the lack of issue, as a matter of fact the reasons between each group of people are similar, changing only the way to realize this situation.
The argument, about the importance of earning much money or working in a relaxing and stimulating place, has divided most of the population. Someone observes how an enjoyable job is better than a
good
salary for
many
reasons.
Firstly
, a comfortable atmosphere soars the level of hormones linked to physical well-being and
reduces
the
stress
,
thus
in this way, the
risk
of medical issues drop
dramatically
.
Secondly
, you could hang out quicker,
rather
than earning a lot and being unhappy during your work. Others disagree and
think
how money and
goods
are better in their life. They say how economic troubles influence the level of joyousness in a common family.
Moreover
,
sometimes
, when you could
buy
an exclusive product or something you wish
ardently
,
in that moment
you are
really
plenty
of joy. Another reason could
be linked
to
reduce
the level of
stress
when you
return at home
,
because
of facilities
bought
thank to cash. In my opinion the truth is in the middle: in fact, both economic problems and job condition are
important
,
but
at the same time nothing of them is fundamental. Life is both working and
house
,
thus
you could
get
a job in a cute workplace, where your tasks are about something you approve and
also
trying to earn not few coins to avoid any troubles. In this way, you could
live
without
stress
on each part of the day. Summing up, the main
idea
of everything is researching happiness and the lack of issue, as a matter of fact the reasons between each group of
people
are similar, changing
only
the way to realize this situation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
One should not aim at being possible to understand but at being impossible to misunderstand.
Marcus Fabius Quintilian

IELTS essay Some people argue that it is more important to have an enjoable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. v. 1

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
272 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts