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Some people argue that hard work and determination are the most important factors in success, others see that there are other factors that are more significant. discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people argue that hard work and determination are the most important factors in success, others see that there are other factors that are more significant. v. 2
Being successful is a great feeling and to be successful one should not only have the capability of doing hard work but also commitment towards work. While some assert that these two variables play an increasingly more central role in the sphere of success, others cite that there are other factors which play more imperative than these. I strongly believe in diligence and determination will make a person successful. Diligence and commitment towards the work is the highway for success, both of these are imperative foundation of any task. To complete a task successfully, one should have patience which is a by-product of determination and hard-work. There are many people who are successful by trusting these two aspects, AR Rehaman, without hard-work and determination he is none other than a normal human, he believed in those things and won two Oscar awards. Therefore, it is obvious that to be one who invests in hard-work and determination will have success. Sometimes, one should have luck to be successfully, it also plays a role in success, especially when you are working with time. Many inventions by various renowned scientists are invented by accidents and those are called lucky inventions. It can be exemplified by discovery of penicillin, which was invented by Alexander Fleming by an accident, and the displacement factor of Archimedes was also invented by a lucky accident in a bath tub. Hence in sort luck is one of the factors that could lead towards success. One cannot depend on luck itself, one who does hard-work with commitment will always reach goal with satisfaction of his name on success board. No I don’t agree that other factors will help in a man’s success, and will not play a competitive role on par with determination and hard-work
Being successful is a great feeling and to be successful one should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have the capability of doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
commitment towards work. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assert that these two variables
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
an
increasingly
more central role in the sphere of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, others cite that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
more imperative than these. I
strongly
believe in diligence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a person successful.

Diligence and commitment towards the work is the highway for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, both of these are imperative foundation of any task. To complete a task
successfully
, one should have patience which is a by-product of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who are successful by trusting these two aspects, AR
Possible spelling mistake found.
Rehaman
, without
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
he is none
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than a normal human, he believed in those things and won two Oscar awards.
Therefore
, it is obvious that to be one who invests in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
will have success.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
, one should have luck to be
successfully
, it
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plays
a role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
especially
when you are working with time.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
inventions by various renowned scientists
are invented
by accidents and those
are called
lucky inventions. It can
be exemplified
by discovery of penicillin, which
was invented
by Alexander Fleming by an accident, and the displacement
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factor
of Archimedes was
also
invented by a lucky accident in a bath tub.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Hence
in sort luck is one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
that could lead towards success.

One cannot depend on luck itself, one who does
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-work with commitment will always reach goal with satisfaction of his name on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
board. No I don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
factors
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, and will not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
a competitive role on par with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
determination
and
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
hard-work
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
21Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that hard work and determination are the most important factors in success, others see that there are other factors that are more significant. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
294 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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