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Nowadays the use of social media such as Facebook, Twitter and so on is becoming more popular than one-on-one conversations in person. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give your opinion and examples from your own v.2

Nowadays the use of social media such as Facebook, Twitter and so on is becoming more popular than one-on-one conversations in person. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give your opinion and examples from your own v. 2
As electronic devices play increasingly more central role in our lives, it has been suggested that there has been an unprecedented decline in interpersonal communications not only with colleagues, business associates, and close friends but also with immediate family members. I completely agree with this assertion, moreover, this is a worrying trend that set to continue. Even though face-to-face interactions are possibly at their lowest level, it would be foolish not to recognize the valuable role that social media plays. Thanks to it we can get in touch with anyone, at the touch of the button, regardless of the time-zone and location. For example, we can follow what our friends have been doing by social media platform such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter, therefore, the rise in communications through such methods cannot be underestimated. Nevertheless, this reduces contact in person-to-person communications is a disturbing inevitable by-product of the social media environment and could attribute to change in lifestyle, for the current generation. For example, the previous generation has no such medium to interact with others, so they worked in nine-to-five jobs, went home and spend some quality time with their family. This millennial in stark contrast, are frequently employed in digital nomads, surfing through social sites and squandering valuable time which leads to a different way of lifestyle on par with our ancestors. Despite communications is at its highest level in terms of quantity, the quality of it is completely debatable. Social media notifications should not replace face-to-face communications. senior family members should restrict their children to not to use electronic gadgets at least on the dinner table so that they can spend time in chatting with them, and it should also the duty of parents to set a good example to children by not using them at the same time.
As electronic devices play
increasingly
more central role in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
, it has
been suggested
that there has been an unprecedented decline in interpersonal communications not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
with colleagues, business associates, and close friends
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
with immediate family members. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this assertion,
moreover
, this is a worrying trend that set to continue.

Even though
face-to-face interactions are
possibly
at their lowest level, it would be foolish not to recognize the valuable role that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
plays. Thanks to
Consider adding a comma here.
it
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in touch with anyone, at the touch of the button, regardless of the time-zone and location.
For example
, we can follow what our friends have been doing by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
platform such as Facebook, Instagram, and Twitter,
therefore
, the rise in communications through such methods cannot
be underestimated
.

Nevertheless
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
contact in person-to-person communications is a disturbing inevitable by-product of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
environment and could attribute to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
in lifestyle, for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
generation.
For example
, the previous generation has no such medium to interact with others,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they worked in nine-to-five jobs, went home and spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their family. This millennial in stark contrast, are
frequently
employed in digital nomads, surfing through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
sites and squandering valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
which leads to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
way of lifestyle on par with our ancestors.

Despite communications is at its highest level in terms of quantity, the quality of it is completely debatable.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
notifications should not replace face-to-face communications.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
senior
family members should restrict their children
One 'to' seems to be obsolete.
to not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
electronic gadgets at least on the dinner table
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in chatting with them, and it should
also
the duty of parents to set a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example to children by not using them at the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Nowadays the use of social media such as Facebook, Twitter and so on is becoming more popular than one-on-one conversations in person. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages? Give your opinion and examples from your own v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
301 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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