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Some people argue that hard work and determination are the most important factors in success, others see that there are other factors that are more significant. discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people argue that hard work and determination are the most important factors in success, others see that there are other factors that are more significant. v. 1
It is often said that happiness cannot be achieved with money. In my essay, I will try to explain why is it tough to characterize prosperity and in which way it can be reached. The issue of contentment is subjective and complex to determine, because everybody has his / her own insight and image of it and it varies depending on their thoughts and world view. For example, for some people the main source of contentment is money, because it allows them to cover their needs such as purchasing expensive clothes, apartments and cars. For other people delight can be brought by having family, friends and relatives. While discussing the euphoria, it is worth mentioning that as the needs of people change over the years, the factors influencing their glee also change. For instance, a toy can make a child happy; however, it does not mean much for an adult. Money might be a source of contentment for an adult, but it is not of much importance to a child. In my opinion, there are many factors that can help humans attain exhilaration. One of them is doing activities that can make us feel satisfied and happy. For example, there are a lot of artists who acquire a small amount of money for their paintings, but despite of this they genuinely enjoy it, because they like to express their ideas and imagination through the art. In contrast to the previous type of human beings there are people for whom the salary is a crucial satisfactory aspect. Accordingly, if their income is sufficient, they tend to be pleased. Finally, some people can accomplish the bliss by finding a soul mate or new friends, with whom they could spend their leisure time doing diverse activities. To conclude, there might be more factors that can contribute towards happiness of different individuals. In my opinion, it can be achieved depending on human perception and actions towards it.
It is
often
said that happiness cannot
be achieved
with
money
. In my essay, I will try to
explain
why is it tough to characterize prosperity and in which way it can
be reached
.

The issue of contentment is subjective and complex to determine,
because
everybody has his / her
own
insight and image of it and it varies depending on their thoughts and world view.
For example
, for
some
people
the main source of contentment is
money
,
because
it
allows
them to cover their needs such as purchasing expensive clothes, apartments and cars. For other
people
delight can
be brought
by having family, friends and relatives. While discussing the euphoria, it is worth mentioning that as the needs of
people
change
over the years, the factors influencing their glee
also
change
.
For instance
, a toy can
make
a child happy;
however
, it does not mean much for an adult.
Money
might be a source of contentment for an adult,
but
it is not of much importance to a child.

In my opinion, there are
many
factors that can
help
humans attain exhilaration. One of them is doing activities that can
make
us feel satisfied and happy.
For example
, there are
a lot of
artists who acquire a
small
amount of
money
for their paintings,
but
despite of
this they
genuinely
enjoy it,
because
they like to express their
ideas
and imagination through the art.
In contrast
to the previous type of human beings there are
people
for whom the salary is a crucial satisfactory aspect.
Accordingly
, if their income is sufficient, they tend to be
pleased
.
Finally
,
some
people
can accomplish the bliss by finding a soul mate or new friends, with whom they could spend their leisure time doing diverse activities.

To conclude
, there might be more factors that can contribute towards happiness of
different
individuals. In my opinion, it can
be achieved
depending on human perception and actions towards it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that hard work and determination are the most important factors in success, others see that there are other factors that are more significant. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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