Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Excessive consumption of sugar causes many health related issues. Some people believe the government should control population’s sugar intake while others think people themselves should be responsible for their sugar eating habits. Discuss both views an v.2

Excessive consumption of sugar causes many health related issues. Some people believe the government should control population’s sugar intake while others think people themselves should be responsible for their sugar eating habits. 2
Sugar is one the sweetest substance which is produced from cane and made available for everyone at a subsidized price; as a result most people are getting ill by consuming this in large measure. Some individual' s cite that governing authorities should manage people' s sugar consumption. Others, however, quote that it should be the responsibility of people to look after their eating habits of sugar. Excessive consumption of sweet substances leads to devastating health results. First of all, heavy intake of sugar could result to diabetes, as sugar is the simplest form of glucose it will directly affect blood cells. Secondly, there will be a raise in weight of the people, as sugar consists of non digesting components such as sucrose, which will make people lazy. Finally, all the things consider, there will be a burden on government' s budget on hospitals, because, many countries are providing free health for the patients who are suffering from diabetes and obesity. This is the ultra prominent reason that people believe that management of sugar supply should under government' s sphere. Even though sugar is considered to be most addictive substance on the planet, people should be self-responsible on its excess consumption. In this informative world all the food products are self descriptive with nutrition fact, commonly known as ingredients. Therefore, it is the responsibility of an individual to check the sugar content and decide upon intake. To keep up a balance between health and sugar intake, there is a need of good physical activity which has to be carried-out individual himself. Although taste buds always urge for sugary content substance, it is an individual control which can help in restraining from such consumption. In conclusion, sugar is one of the important contents for good health, however excess consumption will lead to several health problem and such problems can be avoided by an individual control over sugar intake as Government cannot have control on the sweet consumption of individual’s food contents.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sugar
is
Did you mean "one of"?
one
the sweetest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substance
which
is produced
from cane and made available for everyone at a subsidized price;
as a result
most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting ill by consuming this in large measure.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Possible spelling mistake found.
individual&
#039; s cite that governing authorities should manage
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
. Others,
however
, quote that it should be the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to look after their eating habits of sugar.

Excessive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of sweet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substances
leads to devastating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
results.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, heavy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
could result to diabetes, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is the simplest form of glucose it will
directly
affect blood cells.
Secondly
, there will be a raise in weight of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
consists of non digesting components such as sucrose, which will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lazy.
Finally
, all the things consider, there will be a burden on
Possible spelling mistake found.
government&
#039; s budget on hospitals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries are providing free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
for the patients who are suffering from diabetes and obesity. This is the ultra prominent reason that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that management of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
supply should under
Possible spelling mistake found.
government&
#039; s sphere.

Even though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is considered
to be
Did you mean "the most"?
most
addictive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substance
on the planet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be self-responsible on its excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
. In this informative world all the food products are self descriptive with nutrition fact,
commonly
known as ingredients.
Therefore
, it is the responsibility of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
and decide upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up a balance between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
, there is a need of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
physical activity which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be carried
-out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
himself. Although taste buds always urge for sugary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
content
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
substance
, it is an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
control which can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in restraining from such consumption.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
contents for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
,
however
excess
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
will lead to several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
problem and such problems can
be avoided
by an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
control over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sugar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
intake
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
cannot have control on the sweet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumption
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual’s
food contents.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Excessive consumption of sugar causes many health related issues. Some people believe the government should control population’s sugar intake while others think people themselves should be responsible for their sugar eating habits. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
329 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts