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Some people argue that capital punishment is good for a country. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people argue that capital punishment is good for a country. v. 4
In the modern era of globalisation, it is undeniable that crime rates are gradually uplifting all over the world. Proponents support death penalty implementation for the benefit of a nation while opponents deny the same. I partly favour the fact of capital punishment for the development of a country, but also feel that the criminals must obtain a second chance to rectify their faults. At the outset, capital punishment installation in a country will ensure the decline of crime rates persisting currently. There has been a tremendously increasing trend in crimes such as rape, brutal murder and other death-related cases that disturbs many. For instance, this death affects not only the victims but also their families who are dependent on these individuals. It causes an irrecoverable loss that can never be replaced forever. Hence, following death penalty imposition will reduce the alarming rates of death crimes. On the other hand, I believe that these crime doers can be provided with a second opportunity in case they are willing to change themselves. The Government can facilitate them with rehabilitation centres to make sure they regain their good humane nature. To give a clear example, a recent research proved that rehabilitation centres have transformed many lives of criminals for the betterment of them, thereby for the society. This ensures that we can obtain a nation free from criminals and crime rates thus offering a rebirth for the offenders to live their lives fruitfully. In conclusion, although enforcing death punishment decreases crimes in a country, providing another opportunity to these people indulged in criminal activities can help transform their lives for the betterment of the society.
In the modern era of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
, it is undeniable that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
are
gradually
uplifting all over the world. Proponents support death penalty implementation for the benefit of a nation while opponents deny the same. I partly
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
the fact of capital punishment for the development of a country,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
feel that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
obtain a second chance to rectify their faults.

At the outset, capital punishment installation in a country will ensure the decline of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
persisting
currently
. There has been a
tremendously
increasing trend in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
such as rape, brutal murder and other death-related cases that disturbs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
.
For instance
, this death affects not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the victims
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
their families who are dependent on these individuals. It causes an irrecoverable loss that can never
be replaced
forever.
Hence
, following death penalty imposition will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the alarming
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
of death crimes.

On the other hand
, I believe that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
doers can
be provided
with a second opportunity in case they are willing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
themselves. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
can facilitate them with rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they regain their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
humane nature. To give a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
example, a recent research proved that rehabilitation
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
have transformed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
for the betterment of them, thereby for the society. This ensures that we can obtain a nation free from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rates
thus
offering a rebirth for the offenders to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
live
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
fruitfully
.

In conclusion
, although enforcing death punishment decreases
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
in a country, providing another opportunity to these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
indulged in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
activities can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
transform their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lives
for the betterment of the society.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that capital punishment is good for a country. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
273 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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