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Some people say that young people can learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others say that young people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people say that young people can learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others say that young people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time. v. 2
That the influence of playing electronic and computer games on youngsters has controversial. Several people argue that young people can recieve a range of skills through games. Others believe that it is time - consuming for people to play these games. This essay will discuss both opinions. To begin with, spending time on playing electronic and computer games help the youth to develop some soft skills such as thinking logical and solving problems. For instance, game which is called crossword puzzles require players to know from basic to high level of knowledge. Therefore, people must enlarge their knowledge to become a winner. The rank of game also make people try their best to enhance their positions. Secondly, attending a game which needs the cooperation increase the ability to work in team for young people. According to games, people will understand that interaction plays an integral part in the life if they want to gain achievements. Finally, playing electronic and computer games is an effective way to decrease the pressure after learning at schools or working at offices. On the other hand, taking more time to play games bring some disadvantages. Firstly, more people especially the youth easily addicted games. This is not only time - consuming but also waste money. It is clearly seen that a huge number of students use money to buy cards for virtual games. Moreover, playing games also effect negatively on people' s health. Due to the fact that more children spend too much time, even stay overnight to play games, they will feel under the weather in the mornings. In conclusion, I believe that playing electronic and computer games provide some crucial skills for young people provided that they use a mount of time reasonably for these games.
That the influence of
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playing
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electronic
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
on youngsters has controversial. Several
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people
argue that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
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recieve
a range of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. Others believe that it is
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time
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
consuming for
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people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
. This essay will discuss both opinions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, spending
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time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the youth to develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
soft
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as thinking logical and solving problems.
For instance
, game which
is called
crossword puzzles require players to know from basic to high level of knowledge.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
enlarge their knowledge to become a winner. The rank of game
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
try their best to enhance their positions.
Secondly
, attending a game which needs the cooperation increase the ability to work in team for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. According to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will understand that interaction
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plays
an integral part in the life if they want to gain achievements.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
is an effective way to decrease the pressure after learning at schools or working at offices.

On the other hand
, taking more
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time
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
Firstly
, more
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people
especially
the youth
easily
addicted
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games
. This is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
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time
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
consuming
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
waste money. It is
clearly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that a huge number of students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
cards for virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
Moreover
,
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playing
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games
also
effect
negatively
on
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people&
#039; s health. Due to the fact that more children spend too much
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time
, even stay overnight to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
play
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, they will feel under the weather in the mornings.

In conclusion
, I believe that
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playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
electronic
and computer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
crucial
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
provided that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a mount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
reasonably
for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people say that young people can learn useful skills by playing electronic and computer games. Others say that young people who play electronic and computer games are wasting their time. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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