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Health experts believe that walking is a good exercise for health. However, people are walking less nowadays. Why is this happening? How can people be encouraged to walk more? v.1

Health experts believe that walking is a good exercise for health. However, people are walking less nowadays. Why is this happening? How can people be encouraged to walk more? v. 1
Undoubtedly, walking is a good form of exercise and is an effective method for improving and developing the health of all people. This essay will highlight what are the reasons behind this situation and what are some potential measures to resolve it. To begin with, There are many reasons why people are walking less. Farist and formost, Public and private vehicles are on the rise. Due to which most people have their own vehicles they prefer to go in their own vehicles to save their time rather than walk. So, they Can transport soon. Another case of. Lack of proper roads for walking. In many cities there is more debris and potholes on the roads. In many cities there is more garbage and potholes seen on the roads, Which increases the probability of an accident. For instance, If a road is narrow, there are more traffic problems. Consequently, People are not attracted to walk. However, There are number of ways to encourage people. Firstly, The government should programs in cities to make people aware of the benefits of walking. Because of which More people may adjust their body. Secondly, Different roads should be constructed for the government to run. People can easily walk and The probability of an accident also decreases. For example, Different roads have been built in developing countries for walk. Therefore, more people are attracted to walking To sum up, people of this contemporary society have many distractions because of which they find it challenging concentrate at walk. However, this situation can be dealt with very nicely by the efforts of government.
Undoubtedly
, walking is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
form of exercise and is an effective method for improving and developing the health of all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This essay will highlight what are the reasons behind this situation and what are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
potential measures to resolve it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are walking less.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Farist
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
formost
, Public and private vehicles are on the rise. Due to which most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles they prefer to go in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles to save their time
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they Can transport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
. Another case of. Lack of proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
for walking. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities there is more debris and potholes on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
cities there is more garbage and potholes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
, Which increases the probability of an accident.
For instance
, If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
road
is narrow, there are more traffic problems.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are not attracted to walk.

However
, There are number of ways to encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
, The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
The verb 'should' requires the base form of the verb: "program"
programs
in cities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
aware of the benefits of walking.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
of which More
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may adjust their body.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
should
be constructed
for the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to run.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can
easily
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
and The probability of an accident
also
decreases.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
roads
have
been built
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
.
Therefore
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are attracted
to walking

To sum up,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of this contemporary society have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
distractions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of which they find it challenging concentrate at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
walk
.
However
, this situation can
be dealt
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
nicely
by the efforts of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Health experts believe that walking is a good exercise for health. However, people are walking less nowadays. Why is this happening? How can people be encouraged to walk more? v. 1

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
265 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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