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Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. v.7

Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. v. 7
It is certainly true that the present time is less convenient for the children’s outgrowth as they are over headed with enormous study materials by the school authorities. Therefore, they are simply stuck inside the home and unable to experience the fresh air of outside world. However, it is very fundamental for the beginners to comprehend and get the taste of natural environment. First of all, a child has a growing mind who seeks to learn more about the surroundings. For instance, keeping children at home all the hours will hamper their natural growth of physical appearances, as well as their minds. Sometimes, they could develop some disease conditions such as vit- D deficiency and skin cancers etc. Further, modern life may foot the bill of child’s psychological changes. They may suffer from depression, social phobias and some other childhood disorders. Furthermore, children may develop some personality disorders also. Thus, nowadays this issue has sparked the heated debate and world is trying to find out the solutions. As regarding the fact that, outside environment is truly essential for the bond between human and nature. Without realising the beauty of nature, our future generation will not able to respect them properly. Apparently, many trees are knocked down and woods are cleaned out, resulting in natural calamity and this is due to inefficient love and respect towards the environment. Moreover, social bonding is also a crucial factor, though in present time young’s are getting friends and social relationships on the web by facebook, twitter, Instagram etc but those are not healthy bonds for child’s growth. To add with, playing outside with friends may give a proper joy and liveable life. To summarise, we can not deny the rapidity of present life where slow lives could not last for the long run, nevertheless, children should get the opportunity to see the outside earth despite passing hours indoors that will not offer them a healthy and pleasant life.
It is
certainly
true that the present time is less convenient for the
children’s
outgrowth as they are over headed with enormous study materials by the school authorities.
Therefore
, they are
simply
stuck inside the home and unable to experience the fresh air of
outside
world.
However
, it is
very
fundamental for the beginners to comprehend and
get
the taste of natural environment.

First of all
, a child has a growing mind who seeks to learn more about the surroundings.
For instance
, keeping
children
at home all the hours will hamper their natural growth of physical appearances,
as well
as their minds.
Sometimes
, they could develop
some
disease conditions such as
vit
- D deficiency and skin cancers etc.
Further
, modern life may foot the bill of child’s psychological
changes
. They may suffer from depression, social phobias and
some
other childhood disorders.
Furthermore
,
children
may develop
some
personality disorders
also
.
Thus
, nowadays this issue has sparked the heated debate and world is trying to find out the solutions.

As regarding the fact that,
outside
environment is
truly
essential for the bond between human and nature. Without
realising
the beauty of nature, our future generation will not able to respect them
properly
.
Apparently
,
many
trees
are knocked
down and woods
are cleaned
out, resulting in natural calamity and this is due to inefficient
love
and respect towards the environment.
Moreover
, social bonding is
also
a crucial factor, though in present time young’s are getting friends and social relationships on the web by
facebook
, twitter, Instagram etc
but
those are not healthy bonds for child’s growth. To
add
with, playing
outside
with friends may give a proper joy and liveable life.

To
summarise
, we can not deny the rapidity of present life where slow
lives
could not last for the long run,
nevertheless
,
children
should
get
the opportunity to
see
the
outside
earth despite passing hours indoors that will not offer them a healthy and pleasant life.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Because of the busy pace of modern life, many children spend most of their time indoors and have little exposure to the natural world. v. 7

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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