Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behaviour. Discuss both views and give your personal opinion and reasons. v.1

Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behaviour. v. 1
There is no doubt that parenting is considered to be very difficult. While some believe kids should be disciplined for behaving poorly, I agree that encouraging good behaviour is always the better option. Firstly, if we discipline children on mistakes, they are less likely to repeat it. This is mainly because they feel threatened by the punishment. For instance, a student who has not completed their assignment are generally given an extra lesson to make them understand its importance. In contrast, If we do not punish them, they feel it is okay to make mistakes. Consequently, we end up with ill-mannered adults, and these problems intensify with time. However, I believe rewarding is much better than punishing. This brings a sense of motivation in children. As a result, they repeat this good habit for reward and develop a lifelong commitment to it. For example, when parents give their child a treat for household chores, they tend to continue it weekly. Additionally, if we ignore them after any positive activity, they will be disheartened and demoralized for the future. To conclude, although in few cases punishment is the only option to teach kids a lesson, I feel, rewards and encouragement are much more efficient in order to prepare the child for the future.
There is no doubt that parenting
is considered
to be
very
difficult. While
some
believe kids should
be disciplined
for behaving
poorly
, I
agree
that encouraging
good
behaviour
is always the better option.

Firstly
, if we discipline children on mistakes, they are less likely to repeat it. This is
mainly
because
they feel threatened by the punishment.
For instance
, a student who has not completed their assignment are
generally
given
an extra lesson to
make
them understand its importance.
In contrast
, If we do not punish them, they feel it is okay to
make
mistakes.
Consequently
, we
end
up with ill-mannered adults, and these problems intensify with time.

However
, I believe rewarding is much better than punishing. This brings a sense of motivation in children.
As a result
, they repeat this
good
habit for reward and develop a lifelong commitment to it.
For example
, when parents give their child a treat for household chores, they tend to continue it weekly.
Additionally
, if we
ignore
them after any
positive
activity, they will
be disheartened
and demoralized for the future.

To conclude
, although in few cases punishment is the
only
option to teach kids a lesson, I feel, rewards and encouragement are much more efficient in order to prepare the child for the future.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behaviour. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
212 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts